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Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year -
Yahoo.com ^ | October 20, 2003

Posted on 10/21/2003 9:54:43 AM PDT by UnklGene

Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year

Monday October 20, 2003

Federal health officials are expected to soon issue a report warning the public about the dangers of second-hand gas. Human gas, that is.

"Second-hand gas, if inhaled on a regular basis, can cause headache, irritated eyes, emphysema, asthma, bronchitis and in many cases, heart attack," says a physician with ties to the Centers for Disease Control.

"Each year, approximately 130,000 Americans die from second-hand gas -- and many others suffer serious ailments as a result of long-term exposure.

"Gas-passers and non-gas-passers alike must realize the extent to which breaking wind -- commonly called 'farting' -- damages everyone's health."

According to the soon-to-be-released CDC report, each year second-hand gas causes:

800 heart attacks 250 strokes 30,000 asthma attacks 50,000 cases of earache Due to poor dietary habits, there is now an "epidemic" of flatulence in America, the report warns. The average American produces a staggering three pints of gas and breaks wind 14 to 23 times daily.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: pufflist
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To: UnklGene
So, the alternative is to hold it all in...that's a recipe for a Chernobyl like disaster.
21 posted on 10/21/2003 10:09:19 AM PDT by TADSLOS (Right Wing Infidel since 1954)
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To: KillTime
Add 10,000 ninja nightfighter assassins whose position is given away by inadvertent vociferousness.
22 posted on 10/21/2003 10:11:44 AM PDT by RightWhale (Repeal the Law of the Excluded Middle)
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To: UnklGene
Books of matches alert!
23 posted on 10/21/2003 10:11:56 AM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: UnklGene; *puff_list; Just another Joe; SheLion; Max McGarrity; Flurry; CSM; metesky; ...
You just gotta see this!!!!

The government comes up with enough other ridiculous numbers, so why not!!!
24 posted on 10/21/2003 10:12:06 AM PDT by Gabz (Smoke-gnatzies - small minds buzzing in your business - SWAT'EM)
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To: UnklGene
I noticed that the supposed harm is all from secondhand gas.

Finally, scientific proof that they just don't smell as bad if they're yours.

25 posted on 10/21/2003 10:12:20 AM PDT by XJarhead
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To: Made In The USA
Well, at least we should tax it.
26 posted on 10/21/2003 10:12:39 AM PDT by ladylib
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To: UnklGene


Pull My Finger President
27 posted on 10/21/2003 10:12:39 AM PDT by mtbrandon49
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To: KillTime
Democrats, 130,000 died when they fart their brains out.

But as usual, they still walk a few more years above ground to vote after they have passed.... on!
28 posted on 10/21/2003 10:13:35 AM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: UnklGene
Each year, approximately 130,000 Americans die from second-hand gas

You have GOT to be Freepin' kidding me!

I'd like to see some of the reports from those autopsies.

29 posted on 10/21/2003 10:14:00 AM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level.)
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To: Flurry
You called this a long time ago! Don't you prefer second hand food as the term.......

Where are the gnatzies now? What can be done to regulate this non filtered danger?
30 posted on 10/21/2003 10:14:16 AM PDT by CSM (Congrats to Flurry and LE!)
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To: UnklGene
New energy source?
31 posted on 10/21/2003 10:14:19 AM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: UnklGene
The source for this article is "The Weekly World News"...ya know...the "Batboy" people.
32 posted on 10/21/2003 10:15:21 AM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level.)
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To: UnklGene
This has to be a joke.
33 posted on 10/21/2003 10:16:03 AM PDT by Bikers4Bush
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To: UnklGene; *puff_list; Just another Joe; Great Dane; Max McGarrity; Tumbleweed_Connection; ...

34 posted on 10/21/2003 10:16:15 AM PDT by SheLion (Curiosity killed the cat BUT satisfaction brought her back!!!)
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To: UnklGene
This is why the earth spins on its axis. We've been powering the planet all along and just didn't realize our collective strength in numbers.
35 posted on 10/21/2003 10:16:20 AM PDT by ZOTnot
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To: ThanhPhero
The number of victims who die laughing was not noted.

This cracks me up!

36 posted on 10/21/2003 10:17:15 AM PDT by SheLion (Curiosity killed the cat BUT satisfaction brought her back!!!)
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To: Bacon Man
Killer!
37 posted on 10/21/2003 10:17:15 AM PDT by Xenalyte (I may not agree with your bumper sticker, but I'll defend to the death your right to stick it)
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To: UnklGene; martin_fierro
The average American produces a staggering three pints of gas and breaks wind 14 to 23 times daily.

More America bashing! Now they're gettin' personal! Good thing I'm not an "Average American".

I'm more an "Above Average American". I can clear an elevator in 3 seconds. Who can beat that?

<|:-)~~

38 posted on 10/21/2003 10:17:21 AM PDT by JoeSixPack1 (POW/MIA Bring 'em Home, Or Send us Back!! Semper Fi)
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To: Bacon Man; Allegra
And while I'm thinking about it, the Dread Boston Salty also has quite lethal potentiality.
39 posted on 10/21/2003 10:17:36 AM PDT by Xenalyte (I may not agree with your bumper sticker, but I'll defend to the death your right to stick it)
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To: UnklGene
Its all those d@mn vegans eating too many beans instead of fresh meat, like we were designed to eat.
40 posted on 10/21/2003 10:17:55 AM PDT by ZULU
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