Posted on 09/22/2003 1:17:36 PM PDT by weegee
Film 2003 host Jonathan Ross is asking viewers to come up with their worst film ever, ahead of the release of the Jennifer Lopez/Ben Affleck bomb Gigli. The public's worst films will be revealed after votes are counted in the next few weeks.
"Nothing can prepare you for quite how bad Gigli is," Ross said.
"Now the viewers of Film 2003 have a chance to name and shame the worst film they've ever seen at the cinema," he said.
Ross said Gigli - which stars Lopez and Affleck as a hired thugs - had joined his all-time list of worst films.
Battlefield Earth
"This is one long list. I'd rather have chewed my own arm off than sit through something as putrid as Pearl Harbor.
"If I ever see Richard Gere in Primal Fear or First Knight again it'll be much too soon, and the same goes for the ludicrous Battlefield Earth."
Other films the Film 2003 host hated were Maybe Baby, Very Bad Things and Bullseye!
Ross will launch the poll in Tuesday's edition of Film 2003 on BBC One. Viewers will be able to vote through the show's website.
Here are some of your views of the worst films of all time.
I have just seen a really bad film. It was called 'Invincible', it starred Billy Zane, who I usually like,a lot. It was produced by Mel Gibson, I expected it to be at least competant. After about three minutes, I gave up the will to live. What a waste of money, the makers could have built a couple of orphanages or a hospital somewhere and put the money to good use!! jan, uk
"Batman and Robin" had a big budget, loads of big name stars, and three successful Batman films before it. It squandered all of this. The writers had obviously never seen "The Running Man" when they decided to give Schwarzenegger (as Mr Freeze) terrible one-liners like "You won't send me to the cooler" and "Chill out". Then there's the plot itself, or should that be lack of? The film essentially stole most of the set pieces and storyline from "Batman Forever", but made it very juvenile at the same time. While most people lay the blame on the director Joel Schumacher (Phone Booth, The Client) it's clear that a rehashed story from Batman Forever and studio interference was the main cause of this train wreck. Schumacher has said in several interviews that studio heads would ask for characters in the film to be made more "toyable" so that merchandise could be made from them! To paraphrase Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons: Worst. Movie. Ever. Simon Wilmer, England
Treasure of the Four Crowns (directed by Tony Anthony) which I saw in the cinema, in 3D, has to be the worst film I've ever. A very low budget version of Raiders of the Lost Ark which had only one redeeming factor - that it was so bad it was funny. My friend literally fell out his chair laughing. will Cruttenden, uk
Even taking the special effects into account, Matrix Reloaded was as dreadful as the script was incomprehensible. Please tell me I am not alone in this opinion! Darren Ross, England
Two words, and you have the whole film summed up for you: Baby Geniuses James Costigan, England
I'm torn between Cocktail and Apollo 13. I didn't see Cocktail in the cinema but i did walk out of Apollo 13. My girlfriend nominates Showgirls. William Thomas, UK
The Sweetest Thing with Cameron Diaz. Absolutely terrible. Glenn Cruddas, UK
Star Wars Episode 2. Or 1 if you like but I found 2 even more pointless and lame. There are worse films but they are more easily avoided and less of a crime against humanity. Leo Davidson, UK
Jaws 4 - The Revenge has to be the worst film I have ever sat through, a prime example of Hollywood churning out rubbish on the back of a classic film just to make a quick buck. Scary Movie, Urban Legends 2, Hollow Man and Existenz are some recent films that have also made me want to hurl abuse at the screen. Ian Sawyer, UK
I have only ever nearly walked out of a cinema once. And that was from "The Waterboy" with Adam Sandler. I should have been turned off by the "Number one in America" tag. The film had only two redeeming features: The use of Peace Frog by The Doors and its brevity. Ed Russell, England
Batman and Robin has to be the worst film I've ever seen. Not only was it very badly acted, the story ridiculous (even by cartoon hero standards) and the action sequences poorly executed, it also managed to completely ruin the reputation of the Batman franchise which is only now about to recover with the announcement of Christian Bale as the next Batman. I hope it's better than Batman and Robin, which to be fair, won't be too hard to achieve! James Bartlett, UK
Event Horizon - an abysmal mish-mash of Hellraiser, 2001 and Aliens. The only vaguely important line of dialogue (that the ship may be alive) is badly delivered and drowned out by SFX. Wall to wall tosh. Bruce Preston, UK
I think Undercover Blues with Dennis Quaid and Kathleen Turner is the worst film I ever saw. The acting was abysmal but the script was worse. I wanted to walk out but my ex-husband had picked it so i felt obliged to stay and watch but I was unbelievably bored. I also walked out of Rainman after 30 minutes. No matter what everyone else says, I hated it. It did not capture my attention in the slightest and I found it tedious, with two very unlikeable characters in the lead roles. Would I sit through in full and give it another go? No way - I'd rather have my toenails pulled out with red-hot pliers... Louisa Schooneman, Netherlands
Jet Li's (although I usually love his films) The One - The only film I had to walk out of! Leigh Armstrong, England
Caligula must rate highly as one of the worst films ever made -how Helen Mirren must wish that she hadn't been involved. Luckily her talents allowed her to rise above this disaster. James Styles, England
Driven - Sylvester Stallone. How to make fast cars look slow, and pinch lots of ideas from Formula 1 and do them badly. It's awful. Chris Wood, England
Apart from the obvious ones like Plan 9 from Outer Space, my vote would have to go to Paris, Texas: self-satisfied, self-indulgent twaddle which, just when you think it's over, starts over agin with that Natasha Kinski woman whining on about something or other. It was too long as well - don't know how many minutes, but it felt like a lot more. Plus, of course, anything with Jim Carrey in it - take your pick. Brian Quinn, UK
Saving Private Ryan - never has there been a more shameless display of diabolical acting, appalling dialogue and nauseating pro-Americanism. I rest my case. Geoff Walsh, UK
The worst film ever has to be The Avengers. If you look at the cast on paper (Sean Connery, Uma Thurman, Ralph Fiennes & Eddie Izzard) you would be mistaken to think that this could be a good movie. Unfortunately the acting is so awful (due to extremely poor direction) it's actually painful to watch! The plot is even worse, and whoever gave the green light for this movie to be made is sure to have been fired from their job. Nelson, Oxford, UK
Deep Blue Sea - death by shark was too good for them. Adam, UK
I used to think that the Matthew Broderick version of Godzilla was the worst movie ever, until I saw Armageddon... Matt Richardson, Canada
The worst film, the one that really irked me and sent me fleeing the cinema with a feeling of disgust was Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones. Closley followed by Red Dawn, Robocop & Weekend at Bernies 2. graeme scarfe, UK
History of The World Part One - (1981) Mel Brooks. Pure unadulterated trash. Ill conceived and puerile. A plague on it! Simon W. Ladd, United Kingdom
The worst film of all time BAR NONE has to be Star Wars: The Phantom Menace! As far as I'm concerned it never happened! This film makes Howard the Duck seem like a masterpiece!!! George.... retire!! John May, England
Up to last week, my worst film had to be Gattaca or About Schmidt, but unfortuantely, I went to see CAMP last week, and now, 7 days on, I still don't know what it was about... but know I am still perturbed by it. Tony Doyle, Wilmslow, UK
My nominee for worst film of all time is Renaldo and Clara (1978), directed by and starring Bob Dylan. 235 painful minutes. Mel Atkey, UK
Whilst there are several obvious choices, such as Pearl Harbor or the torturous Titanic, I think the worst film I have *ever* seen is Cocoon: the Return. It is the only film where I have actually, genuinely, contemplated suicide whilst watching. It IS that bad. Mr R, UK
My worst ever film is Eyes Wide Shut - unintelligible, self-indulgent nonsense. Kidman's beauty was the only saving grace to an otherwise truly appalling movie. Russ Fowler, UK
Anything with Ben Affleck in it stinks! He really is the WORST actor around at the moment. Steve, UK
The remake of Rollerball was so poor I tried to knock myself out to so I didn't have to watch the end. Absolutely nothing makes sense in it. The editing is awful and the story was ridiculous. Mal Speagell, England
The worst film ever made is 'Meet The Feebles'. Its is the only film I have ever walked out of. It makes the likes of Bernard Manning and Roy 'Chubby' Brown appear the height of sophistication, and intellectually stimulating. Mark Owen Blakey, Melbourne, Australia
Sommersby has to be one of the worst films ever. Classic case of the Americans taking a perfectly well thought out film and ruining it by sentimentalizing it and filling it full of the beautiful rather than the talented. Chris Clarke, UK
I've generally been fairly forgiving with films, but watching Matrix Reloaded earlier this year ended that. It took all my effort not to walk out of the cinema (I only stayed because my friends stayed, and I discovered afterwards that most of them wanted to walk out too). A useless plot; constant repetition of the so-called deep philosophical ideas ("Are you real? Or do you just think you are real?..."Have you made a decision? Or do you just think you made a decision?"... "Is this a great film? Or do the directors just think it's a great film); dressing up simple ideas in complex dialogue during the Architect's speech to try to cover the fact that he isn;t saying anything worthwhile. I actually tried to fall asleep during this film. Sadly, I failed. Skip Bruce, Scotland
Gangs of New York - truly diabolical Alastair, UK
In terms of the worst films ever, there are films such as the Ed Wood Jr horror Plan 9 From Outer Space that is just so awful it is comical but then it is not pretending to be a classic. Big money productions that are awful such as Heavens Gate and Waterworld are far more worthy of our ire. The worst film I have seen has to be Heavens Gate. Utter Rubbish. Rob Hill, UK
Weekend at Bernie's II surely takes the prize for worst film ever made... rosemary thimble, uk
AI must be of the worst films I have ever seen. The whole family watched it on DVD and as the robot boy waited for the thousands of years to pass it seemed to be going by in real time. At one point I awoke from a doze to the realisation that the rest of the family were all sound asleep! Bad as Pearl Harbor was (and it was very bad) it was a stunning epic next to AI. David Kilgour, Germany
After watching Pearl Harbor I felt that three hours of my life had been stolen. I'd also like to nominate A.I. as I actually sat through that film, mouth agape, unable to understand how the film ever got made. The only plausible theory I've come up with is that Kubrick was playing a joke on Spielberg. He fed him this ludicrously sentimental script (knowing that Spielberg can't resist a sob story), went through the motions of actually filming it, and then died before he could halt the proceedings and reveal it all as a massive prank. Jem Fry, UK
I will have to say that Ishtar was the worst film ever!!! Anita Wright, USA
Worst film for me has to be Solaris with George Clooney! What is all that about? He wasted his money on that one!! adrian wildsmith, uk
Pretty Woman. Absolute rubbish and accurately described by one observer as "the 'Top Gun' of prostitution". Steve Olson, UK
Titanic was one of the worst films ever. The lack of a decent story and the creation of two dimentional support characters was hidden behind DiCaprio looking vulnarable. This alone secured the female teenage vote and made this over-rated B movie a box-office smash. The Scream sequels were lazy remakes of the original movie. Scream was quite good but the sequels used boilerplate plots and in the end was a vehicle for the Cox/Arquette partnership. Ron Kane, UK
One of the saving graces of boarding school was the weekend movie we were allowed to travel into town to rent. There would be all out war over which movie we would all watch and blood on the carpet was common, but none more so than after someone chose The Dog That Stopped The War - an hour and a half-long film about some kids who threw some snowballs at each other before one of their dogs lead them to decide they should probably stop. I'd better stop myself, I'm getting emotional... Richard Powell, UK
I have just watched the remake of the Italian Job and it appears to have no redeeming features whatsoever. Dire, turgid, no style, no atmosphere and all the lead actors seem to have had a personality bypass operation! The film equivalent of Harry potter's Demetors have been at work here because anything of any merit was sucked out of the film before it was released. Peter Peter Jordan, UK
Surely the worse is 'The Cell' - another Ms Lopez failure! Andrew Dye, Australia
Batman and Robin - without doubt an absolute stinker. The only film I have almost walked out from in the cinema. Arnie's only line was "FREEZE", as far as I recall..... Andy Dunne , UK
An obvious one is Freddie Got Fingered, staring Tom Green. And who can forget David Lynch's terrible interpretation of Dune. But my all time favourite worst movie of all time has to be the 1987 'classic' Surf Nazi's Must Die. Philip Corner, UK
Pi, A very repetitive pointless movie that didn't develop at all in the 45 minutes that I watched it. I am a Maths/Physics graduate who found this mathematical journey utterly pointless. Matthew Webster, New Zealand
I'm no film buff, but the worst film I ever saw in the cinema was Bulletproof Monk. Brian Sloan, Northern Ireland
Jeepers Creepers has to be one of the worst cheesey horror films I've ever seen - and I've got the Sci-Fi Channel. It starts out with a plausible suggestion of another redneck serial killer, then proceeds to systematically dissapoint and destroy every hope raised in the first ten minutes or so. Owen Duffy, Scotland
Titanic is the worst film of all time. I'd rather watch David Blaine do nothing for three hours than see cheesy Di Caprio and Wooden Winslet in that overblown American dumbfest. Bobby D, UK
Mission To Mars - Typical American cheese. The most gauling movie moment ever... They'd been through hell to get to Mars on the rescue mission. There was a deadly storm approaching fast. They didn't know if there were any survivors. Before checking, they spent five minutes tearfully erecting a vast American flag... I laughed myself silly... until I remembered I was watching it in an American Cinema! Giles Olley, England
Highlander 2 - There should have been only one. Bob Mallett, England
The focus here seems to be on modern films and I had to think a bit. Nothing could be worse than this year's Masked and Dangerous (4.9 out of 10 on IMDB, it is that high because some shills gave it 10 out of 10s) (and yes I walked out of it after nearly 90 minutes!). A movie shot on video (I think that they missspelled s***) starring every whiney lib. The whole thing looks improvised, the dialogue is horrible, the production value is nil.
It makes Wag The Dog look like Cleopatra (WTD had many scenes of characters sitting around a table talking about plot points rather than actually filming them, but then that film seemed to be rushed through production to get it to the theaters quickly).
Sure, Masked and Anonymous (or M&A, as I fondly like to call it) is convoluted and pretentious. Sure, it has ridiculously banal dialogue that makes Forrest Gump sound like an intellectual. Sure, there are preposterously-named characters (Jack Fate, Tom Friend, Uncle Sweetheart, et al) and let's face it, no one actually has a coherent conversation throughout the entire proceeding. But it's not predictable - that counts for something in my book, anyway, and it has Bob Dylan (looking more and more like Salvador Dali in every scene - all he needed was the mustache wax), and Jeff Bridges always rocks. Here's the bottom line for me, though: any film that has a bearded, bare-armed and derangedly disheveled Val Kilmer deliver the title phrase (while fondling a bunny rabbit) can't be all bad.
Wanna bet???!!!!
Any film with a big name cast (especially a comedy) risks going overboard (It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World actually succeeds, rather than just suck). Any film that has Groucho Marx as a gangster named God, a scene with Jackie Gleason on an acid trip (seeing his wife Carol Channing and Frank Gorshin among others), and an ad campaign that included Timothy Leary and Sammy Davis Junior is going to hurt the mind.
Director Otto Priminger took LSD to prepare for this movie. Almost makes you regret he didn't OD while he was making The Man With The Golden Arm.
First runner-up was something called Camilla. Everybody who had anything to do with it is still embarrassed. I won't mention their names.
Eyes Wide Shut, All That Jazz, and Gangs of New York merit dishonorable mention.
Just in case I miss the poll, somebody be sure to nominate these (should have been) abortions.
The most boring movie ever made was a Japanese thing called The Island. See it at your own risk. You could be bored to death before you ever get out of there.
Particularly noteworthy was the outdoor wedding scene, in which a well-forecast hurricaine slams in, like The Weather Channel, right in the middle of the white tie lawn ceremony, sending the guests in a scurry for cover.
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