Posted on 07/16/2003 11:53:16 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows
From Dave Barry's Blog...
VACATION ADVISORY AND PROJECT ANNOUNCEMENT
For the next two weeks, this blog will be on vacation in a large rural western state that might not even have electricity, let alone the Internet. So there will be no blogging, or at most very little, until approximately August.
MEANWHILE, however, this blog has a little project to amuse anybody who is interested, involving a wonderful site called www.poetry.com, which was brought to this blog's attention by alert reader Laura Stark. Aspiring poets can go there and submit poems in the poetry contest, and maybe even -- incredibly -- have their poems selected for inclusion in heirloom-quality-bound volumes that are -- What are the odds of this? -- for sale!
So anyway, this blog was just thinking how interesting it would be if a whole bunch of people submitted poems that contained a certain key poetic phrase. To see how it might work, this blog submitted a poem under the pen name of "Freemont A. Harkins," entitled: "A Sad Day." Here's how it goes:
A Sad Day
i am sad, so very sad
the tears run down my nose
it was a happy day until
the dog ate mother's toes
You can see this poem at www.poetry.com, using the search engine to search for "Freemont Harkins." Wouldn't it be fun if a lot of people submitted poems using a Pen Name that began with "Freemont" and incorporating the phrase, "the dog ate mother's toes"? Then we all could search for poems written under the first name of "Freemont" -- currently, this blog is the only one -- and see how creative everybody was!
Or would that be wrong?
Anyway, see you in August.
Love,
Freemont A. Harkins
posted by Dave href="2003_07_01_davebarry_archive.html#105811601228483717">1:06 PM
Here's my contribution:
Joy
Such joy and happiness
my heart now knows.
I've healed from the time
The dog ate mother's toes.
Slings and Arrows,
a.k.a. Freemont George Bush
Here are my submittals.
Her Walk (Haiku by Freemont V. Member)
Painfully she walks
Since the dog ate mother's toes
Uneven footsteps
Gravy (Limerick by Freemont R. Member)
Stan the podiatrist knows
You shouldn't put gravy on hose
When mom's best beef stocks
Ended up on her socks
The dog ate mother's toes
Remember (Simple Verse by Freemont W. Member)
When you feel like giving up,
When you can't bear the way life goes,
And you think it's all unfair,
And your pain nobody knows,
Just remember my poor old mother,
Whose suffering plainly shows,
Every time she takes her shoes off -
The dog ate mother's toes.
Treacherous Pets (Freeverse by Freemont C. Member)
The parrot never talks
The cat ignores the litterbox
The gerbil ran off with Richard Gere
And the dog ate mother's toes
Of half of my crew
I did lethally dispose.
They laughed when I informed them that
The dog ate mother's toes.
Freemont Vogon Jeltz
Yassir Arafat
Has a tablecloth for a hat.
When the dog ate mother's toes
He licked gravy off its nose.
Freemont Vogon Jeltz
On a Rascal she only goes
She's suffered great lossages
But painted toenails like snausages, and
the dog ate mother's toes.
Freemont Indiana
i am sad, so very sad
the tears run down my nose
it was a happy day until
the dog ate mother's toes
As far as this poem goes
about a dog eating mother's toes
it's okay I guess to suppose
the dog enjoyed mother's toes
and this is not a poem
goodness knows
next thing we may hear
is the dog is chewing on mother's nose
Now with having the dog gnawing
away at mother each and every day
soon enough there will not be
enough of mother for any to see
and with that I am going to let
poor mother be...
Bill Clinton is a pervert
This everybody knows
At my poor old momma's wake
The dog ate mother's toes
Freemont H. Christ
THOSE SNEAKY BASTARDS
...at poetry.com have gone and legitimized the Freemont Project.
(Thanks for the alert to John Jewitt)
posted by Dave 6:09 PM
Ode to the De-Toed
Once upon a midday dreary,
As I wandered in the clearing,
Looking for a place to rest and ponder woes
As I nodded in the bushes,
Where the life so often rushes
Suddenly I felt the brushes on the
outside of my big toes...
As I looked down at my feet
What stranger scene did my eyes meet
Than a puppy dog, so sweet,
Snarling at my pinky toes...
Suddenly there came a crunching,
As of something slowly munching,
A little dog had made a luncheon
Out of all my little Toes!
As my thoughts turned quick to Fleeing,
I could not believe what I was seeing,
The little pup that had been eating
Had also ate my mother's toes!
Freemont Preech1 Freeper
Copyright ©2003 Freemont Preech1 Freeper
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