Free Republic Smokers' Lounge

Puff List ^ | 5/30/03 | francisandbeans

[Just another Joe]

Join the FR smokers lounge bump list...click on the logo

Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...

Smoker's Lounge

Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em shssh
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aaaaa,:`___________________________||`,:'.",`.;'`,:'.',`: <--------Life is good!
A very special thank you to Registered for providing us with this fine logo....we will bear it with pride.

[Gabz]

Cool!!!!!!!!!!

You'll have to post a picture of it.

[Just another Joe]

We aim to please. Grab a shot glass.

[genefromjersey]

The fun continues department: In lovely New York City, smokers have to step outside if they want to take a drag.
Now, the neighbors living in the area are griping, groaning and moaning:

" Eeew ! They make too much noise out there ! "
"Eew ! We have to walk through toxic clouds of second hand smoke !"....and ( You'll love this one ! )
" Second hand smoke is drifting into ouah apahtmints ! "

[Just another Joe]

Ahh, unintended consequences. You gotta love 'em.

[Gabz]

I read one article that smokers are actually having trash thrown at them from thos apahtmints!!!!

[Argh]

Have you heard of the Newfie Lottery? The winner gets a dollar a year for a million years.

[maxwell]

BWAHAHA...

Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain...we haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Ted fell in a whisky vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drpwmed. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Love, Mom

[Gabz]

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!


See you all later - Mom's Taxi Service is now on the move!!!!

[Just another Joe]

Did you know that there arfe five stages to drunkeness?
I will post them one at a time to insure that everyone doesn't miss them.

Stage #1 -- Smart

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You know all and greatly wish
to express this knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are also always right.
And of course the person you are talking with is very wrong. You will talk for hours trying to
convince someone that you are right. This makes for an interesting argument when both
parties are "smart". Two people talking, in fact, arguing about a subject neither one really
knows anything about, but are convinced that they are they complete authority on the subject
makes for great entertainment for those get the opportunity to listen in.

[maxwell]

But I AM an expert on every subject.

I just don't feel the need to demonstrate that fact with carefully posited details to that effect, preferring a more direct and diatribatic approach involving personal attacks on one's maternal heritage.

[maxwell]

Yo momma is so fat, they didn't figger out she had you for two weeks and that was only cause they was vacuuming out her thigh folds.

[Just another Joe]

Stage #2 -- Handsome/Pretty

This is when you are convinced that you are the best looking person in the entire room and
everyone is looking at you. You begin to wink at perfect strangers and ask them to dance
because of course they had been admiring you the whole evening. You are the center of
attention, and all eyes are directed at you because you are the most beautiful thing on the
face of the earth. Now keep in mind that you are still smart, so you can talk to this person
who has been admiring you about any and all subjects under the sun.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Remove the ball on the bottom and clean the rollers.

[maxwell]

I did. There was alot of crap in there... I don't know how that cheez doodle got in there... Still was pretty sh!tty though.

[maxwell]

Okay well, I never get drunk that way. Bwahaha. I am always fully and ably aware of my nerditude. I guess the next step for us would be a feeling of invincibility with respect to Lagrangian mechanics or something.

[Argh]

These days, by this point in drinking I've already got a headache. But keep going Joe, thanks for the memories!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Get a can of air and blow that baby out. Make sure nothing is hiding on the back side of the rollers. A Q tip with nail polish remover does a good job. I'm a telecom guy mostly and we repair things, but the computer dudes like to just replace everything. Damn GenXers.

[Just another Joe]

Stage #3 -- Rich

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for
the entire bar and put it on your bill because you surely have an armored truck full of your
money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets in this stage. Now of course you still
know all, so you will always win all your bets. And you have no concern for how much money
you bet because you have all the money in the world. You will also begin to buy drinks for all
the people in the bar who are admiring you because you are now the smartest, prettiest, and
richest person on the face of the earth.

[Just another Joe]

I'm a telecom guy mostly and we repair things

Really? Me too.

[maxwell]

I'm a telecom guy mostly and we repair things, but the computer dudes like to just replace everything. Damn GenXers.

Yep, GenX and durn proud of it. [snortle] I'll get around to fixing the damn thing! I am real busy right now, obviously, and switching it out is more time-efficient at the moment. Thankyaverymuch.