"Chat" CONSERVATIVE PARENTS (AND CONCERNED PARTIES)OF PARENTS OF "AT RISK" CHILDREN

05/22/2003 | cherry_bomb88

[cherry_bomb88]

This is a new thread dedicated to conservative parents of children/teens "at risk".

I noticed in my FReeping that there are a lot of other conservative parents like me dealing with children or teens that are socially "at risk". Yes, there are other web sites out there dedicated to this, however they tend to be liberally/socialistically slanted. They have a whinning "poor pitful me" attitude. As conservatives, from talking with many of you, we take a different attitude and require our children to have that same attitude.

I FReep Mailed Jim Robinson to get his "blessing" on this thread. If you are die-hard anti-medication or don't believe these issues we face are real, please move along and don't come in here to chastize us or blame us or condem us. We have enough to deal with on a daily basis.

The purpose of this thread is for conservative parents (and other concerned parties such as friends,relatives, caregivers, educators, etc.) to have a place to come and share resources, information, ideas, and vent frustrations about the daily life we live with these children. It is also to encourage each other, not coddle. I have found that conservatives have a "we will overcome" attitude in dealing with this. We need to help each other not get discouraged and maintain this attitide.

Please feel free to stay and chat even if you are just "interested" in the subject and have no real personal experience with it. But, again, if this is something you disagree with, please do not stay just to stir up trouble.

[cherry_bomb88]

Many autistic children are abnormally fussy about food--some can eat only a few foods.

Not necessarily, could be bipolar, depression, skitzophrenia, diabetic, asthma, dyslexia, downs syndrome, autism....whatever it is that makes a kid "different" from his/her peers and causes him/her to struggle emotionally.

And yes, diet can certainly help & contribute in many kids...cutting back on caffiene, sugar, etc. However it's not the whole key in other kids. It just depends on the kid, the circumstances, etc.

Welcome to the thread, though. Glad to have you here.

[cherry_bomb88]

Hi Dianna & welcome!! I'm happy we can all gather here and the moderators will keep those in FR that are ignorant from bothering us I'm quite confident.

So many people are ignorant...and some of the kids that tease or fear children like ours learn it from their parents.

Half of the fight we live daily is helping our children cope with being different.

I have a great state representative that has asked me to be on her round table for a children's mental health bill. Trying to develop a "one stop information" center where parents can go to find resources and information. I'm going to suggest to her that she may want to lurk in here and see what parents deal with daily...not just on mental health, but on other issues.

[cherry_bomb88]

If you want to be off the ping list for this thread, please let me know

I was going to find information about "bipolars and special diets", but that's pretty selfish of me...there are so many of you parents with special kids that have other disorders & illnesses. So, I'm going to throw it open for that..... question/thought/discussion topic for today....Has anyone found a special diet that works to help stablize their child's disorder or illiness? (if you are a friend, or family member or if you're a caregiver please contribute what you've found to work)

I think this will be helpful to all of us.

[oceanperch]

Great Idea for a thread.

Today is my sons 24 birthday. He was still born and suffered severe brain damage to the basal ganglia.

It has been a long ride but wouldn't do anything different.

He was overstressed and is ill today but improving.

His disability is basically he is stuck developmentally as a newborn but intellectually perfect. He is a quad. and uses body language/eye movement for communication, uses a trach and 02 for breathing, and a feeding tube for nutrition and wants to live to be 100yrs old. : )

[sultan88]

Thanks for pinging me to your forum. I think it's a great idea. While I do not have a teen with problems, I, myself, had a 10 year ordeal with depression and I was under a number of medications. It is a serious issue. I think HairOfTheDog's suggesstion for a Yahoo chat room is worthy of a second consideration later on after you get established.

Meanwhile, I highly recommend a book - "The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For". It was number 5 on the Best Seller's list last week. I am reading it now and am finding it very helpful.

[cherry_bomb88]

You and your son, op, are an inspiration to us all.

[cherry_bomb88]

Thanks, Big '88...I can really use that right now.

[honeygrl]

"I, myself, had a 10 year ordeal with depression and I was under a number of medications. "

I'm under meds now for panic attacks.. i've had them for years triggered by 2 phobias. (storms and throwing up.. storms is the worst though)

[bootless]

Bump for later.

[cherry_bomb88]

Welcome bootless!!! I was talking to a friend about her child and I found a GREAT informative site for all:

Neurology Channel

Very informative on a lot of neurological disorders...autism, ADD, ADHD, bipolar, etc. They have lots of info there!

[cherry_bomb88]

I take meds for panic/anxiety as well. It's a long process in dealing with life. :o)

Remember, though.... God only gives us crosses we can bear; the rest he gives us friends to help us carry them!

FBD...thought maybe you could get some positive vibes from all the inspiring stories here.

[cherry_bomb88]

Today's little quip to make us laugh because we need it most:

A skitzophrenic is in his doctor's office taking some psychological tests
The doctor asks him a situational question "A train is coming down the hallway at you, what do you do?"
The man looks at his doctor and says "I get in my heliocopter and ride away"
The doctor looks at him puzzled and says "Where did you get the heliocopter?"
The skitzophrenic looks back and says "Same damn place you got the train!"

:^D

[luckystarmom]

He just might have sensory integration dysfunction. SID is associated with different types of issues besides just autism. My daughter with brain damage had some SID problems. She's pretty much out grown her problems.

A good occupational therapist can diagnos SID and provide treatment. One of the treatments is to brush with a special brush the arms, legs, and back every 2 hours. After the brushing, the joints in the body are compressed. The OT has to show the parent how to brush because it is a certain technique. An OT can help with other types of sensory problems also.

[Risa]

Today's little quip to make us laugh because we need it most:

Haha. I enjoyed this. I think it reflects well, too, that people with schizophrenia are often brighter than their Doctors and the rest of us!

regards,
risa

[cherry_bomb88]

Risa... Amen to that!!! My daughter is brighter than she wants people to believe. We were in the car tonight on the way to their *eh-hmm* father's and the younger had trivia cards...but educational ones...all math, science, geography, etc. and my older one who likes to tell people she's stupid and gets bad grades was getting everything RIGHT. I looked at her and said, "see, you aren't stupid" she said "don't tell anyone". LOL

[cherry_bomb88]

Memorial Day weekend humor!!!

Here's some humor to get you through the weekend. I am taking a much needed respite over night. I will talk to you all on Monday!

These jokes came from absolutelycleanjokes.com

About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up.

"They think we have an accent," she replied.

"But they have an accent, right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?"

"Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out."

His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living.

"Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"

Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I'm actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy goes in to see a psychiatrist. He says, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three insane men walk out of a mental hospital hoping to escape. The first says, "If there's a high fence, we'll dig under it!"

The second says, "If there's a low fence, we'll jump over it!"

The third says, "Well, we're out of luck, boys--There is no fence," so instead they just went back to their rooms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.

"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?"

The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately."

Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities."

The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot."

[annyokie]

I would urge you not to overreact to your son's food issues. My second boy went through a food thing at the age of two where he absolutely refused to eat anything but bacon for almost two months.

I was ready to tear out my hair, since I tried to MAKE him eat something else, tried refusing to feed him bacon, etc, etc. He finally decided one day that other foods were okay after all.

Just be patient.

[gracie1]

Ther is no way you can win a battle with a child over food. My parents both had sever control issues and were personally affronted by the picky eating habits I had as a child. It became a battle of control that continues to rage. NEVER allow your self to fall victum to a battle of wills like this. If you can be patient, most toddlers will outgrow it. If you are concerned about nutrition or if it may be a symptom of autism, ask the dr. But food battles, you will lose them.

[annyokie]

My picky-eater is still a picky-eater, but not as bad since he is now 13. He still acts like he is going to barf when he eats his salad or peas. He still touches all his food with his fingers, too, despite constant reminders that we do not need to feel our food.

However, he gets straight A's in school and has a circle of friends who are not hooligans, so I can't complain.

As for control, my dad used to MAKE my little brother eat his carrots, which he would promptly ralph onto his plate (cool, when you are eating your own supper) and then get pissed because he puked. I never figured out why he (Dad) never made the connection or why my mom let it happen more than once.

[LuLuLuLu]

I'm more a lurker than a poster, but I'd like to share my 2 cents worth. I don’t know that much of it speak to the issues.
The validity of ADHD
My husband and two stepsons (both now adults) are dyslexic and younger stepson was diagnosed as a child with ADHD. I'm of the opinion that drugs for ADHD are horribly over prescribed and that the majority of children who take them probably don't need them. Which makes it all the worse for the children who DO need them, because people (like me) tend to think that a little more discipline would do the trick.
In the case of my stepson, I think it was a combination of the two; he needed medication for a while, but he also needed his mother to grasp the concept of "personal responsibility". She didn't, so he had a crutch.
When he was 18 he and his ferret moved from Florida to Ohio to live with us. Not long after he moved in he gave his ferret a bath in the bathtub. I saw what he was doing and told him where the cleaning supplies were so he could clean the tub when he was finished. He was shocked that it was expected of him, because "Mom always did it".
When my now 26-year-old daughter was in the first grade her teacher told me that I should have her evaluated for ADD because she wasn't paying attention in class. When I pointed out that daughter wasn't paying attention because she already knew what was being taught, teacher responded that meds would make her easier to handle.
Food Issues
Like many others here, I was brought up in the clean your plate club, something that manifested itself in eating disorders and other problems not germane here. When my children were small I gave up on the idea of trying to "make" them eat anything. They had their choices, and like someone up thread stated, all went through a phase where they'd eat only a few things. And it seemed like not much of it. Needless to say, not one of them starved, and none have ever been considered malnourished.
The same daughter I mentioned earlier just spent a year and half living with us for grad school. She went from a college/living on her own diet of pre-packed, over-processed food to a kitchen where just about everything is fresh. She mentioned on many occasions that she felt so much better eating here; that’s when we went to the grocery and started looking at the ingredients on packaged food.
Dyslexia
Reading and spelling (at least before spell check) have always come easily to me, and it was an eye-opener to realize that what for me is simple is a monumental chore for my husband. He’s always asking me how to spell words, and the first time I told him “it’s spelled just the way it sounds” he looked at me like I was speaking Martian.
While his older son was doing his undergrad work he’d have me proof his papers for grammar and punctuation. The kid got his BS in Biology and is now in a Doctoral program, but his writing skills are at about 8th grade level. The scientific content of his work was well over my head, and he knows his stuff, but putting it on paper is one of the 7 circles of hell.
I don’t know that I’ve added much to this discussion. For those of you with “at-risk” children, keep fighting the good fight. Too many people want to lump all kids together.
And I second exploring the possibility of food allergies, except that I don’t think they’re actual allergies. IMO it’s more the way the body metabolizes certain substances, particularly in prepared foods.
Sorry for the long post. I’ll go back to lurking now.