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I'm more a lurker than a poster, but I'd like to share my 2 cents worth. I don’t know that much of it speak to the issues.
The validity of ADHD
My husband and two stepsons (both now adults) are dyslexic and younger stepson was diagnosed as a child with ADHD. I'm of the opinion that drugs for ADHD are horribly over prescribed and that the majority of children who take them probably don't need them. Which makes it all the worse for the children who DO need them, because people (like me) tend to think that a little more discipline would do the trick.
In the case of my stepson, I think it was a combination of the two; he needed medication for a while, but he also needed his mother to grasp the concept of "personal responsibility". She didn't, so he had a crutch.
When he was 18 he and his ferret moved from Florida to Ohio to live with us. Not long after he moved in he gave his ferret a bath in the bathtub. I saw what he was doing and told him where the cleaning supplies were so he could clean the tub when he was finished. He was shocked that it was expected of him, because "Mom always did it".
When my now 26-year-old daughter was in the first grade her teacher told me that I should have her evaluated for ADD because she wasn't paying attention in class. When I pointed out that daughter wasn't paying attention because she already knew what was being taught, teacher responded that meds would make her easier to handle.
Food Issues
Like many others here, I was brought up in the clean your plate club, something that manifested itself in eating disorders and other problems not germane here. When my children were small I gave up on the idea of trying to "make" them eat anything. They had their choices, and like someone up thread stated, all went through a phase where they'd eat only a few things. And it seemed like not much of it. Needless to say, not one of them starved, and none have ever been considered malnourished.
The same daughter I mentioned earlier just spent a year and half living with us for grad school. She went from a college/living on her own diet of pre-packed, over-processed food to a kitchen where just about everything is fresh. She mentioned on many occasions that she felt so much better eating here; that’s when we went to the grocery and started looking at the ingredients on packaged food.
Dyslexia
Reading and spelling (at least before spell check) have always come easily to me, and it was an eye-opener to realize that what for me is simple is a monumental chore for my husband. He’s always asking me how to spell words, and the first time I told him “it’s spelled just the way it sounds” he looked at me like I was speaking Martian.
While his older son was doing his undergrad work he’d have me proof his papers for grammar and punctuation. The kid got his BS in Biology and is now in a Doctoral program, but his writing skills are at about 8th grade level. The scientific content of his work was well over my head, and he knows his stuff, but putting it on paper is one of the 7 circles of hell.
I don’t know that I’ve added much to this discussion. For those of you with “at-risk” children, keep fighting the good fight. Too many people want to lump all kids together.
And I second exploring the possibility of food allergies, except that I don’t think they’re actual allergies. IMO it’s more the way the body metabolizes certain substances, particularly in prepared foods.
Sorry for the long post. I’ll go back to lurking now.