"Chat" CONSERVATIVE PARENTS (AND CONCERNED PARTIES)OF PARENTS OF "AT RISK" CHILDREN

05/22/2003 | cherry_bomb88

[cherry_bomb88]

This is a new thread dedicated to conservative parents of children/teens "at risk".

I noticed in my FReeping that there are a lot of other conservative parents like me dealing with children or teens that are socially "at risk". Yes, there are other web sites out there dedicated to this, however they tend to be liberally/socialistically slanted. They have a whinning "poor pitful me" attitude. As conservatives, from talking with many of you, we take a different attitude and require our children to have that same attitude.

I FReep Mailed Jim Robinson to get his "blessing" on this thread. If you are die-hard anti-medication or don't believe these issues we face are real, please move along and don't come in here to chastize us or blame us or condem us. We have enough to deal with on a daily basis.

The purpose of this thread is for conservative parents (and other concerned parties such as friends,relatives, caregivers, educators, etc.) to have a place to come and share resources, information, ideas, and vent frustrations about the daily life we live with these children. It is also to encourage each other, not coddle. I have found that conservatives have a "we will overcome" attitude in dealing with this. We need to help each other not get discouraged and maintain this attitide.

Please feel free to stay and chat even if you are just "interested" in the subject and have no real personal experience with it. But, again, if this is something you disagree with, please do not stay just to stir up trouble.

[cherry_bomb88]

ABSOLUTELY...I agree with you. There are too many that buy into the hype that it's all the schools behind it.

[cherry_bomb88]

I appreciate your recommendation, HOWEVER, there will probably be many lurkers here that will be afraid to post for fear of retribution of those in FR that are "anti medication/anti disorders"...personally, bring it on, unless they've walked a mile in my shoes, they can KMA. :o)

I don't want to move it to Yahoo because then the lurkers can't benefit. I would think many of those who are not afraid to post would agree.

I do thank you for your concern. I understand what you are saying, but if someone wants to harp on me because they are small minded, and I'm helping 20 people lurking by talking about it, then I'm cool with it. :o) You don't have a bipolar child and thin skin....if you do, you become thicked skinned very quickly.

[cherry_bomb88]

DEJAVUS, gracie!!! OMG...I totally see myself. I told my daughter the EXACT same thing...she's opted after seeing/feeling the difference when she doesn't take her meds to stay on them, but she is still an irresponsible teen, so I have to remind her, but not harp...I just give them to her when it's time, and she takes them. That way she doesn't forget.

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, that is why I thought you would do well in a group where they would have less fear... but maybe that kind of trust won't be there at first.

We in the hobbit hole have very little controversy, but we formed a private yahoo group where we can share more personal stuff, but, in that case, the personal relationship was formed first.

I don't even have kids, but I know many folks with kid troubles.... they can always used someone to talk to.

[cherry_bomb88]

PING PING PING..... come on in!!!!

[cherry_bomb88]

True, it might be good to have one on the side, but still post the "issues" here...inspirational stuff...like the famous people with the disorders....my daughter thought that was really cool. I just don't want to abandon those that might be afraid to post.

[gracie1]

personally, bring it on, unless they've walked a mile in my shoes, they can KMA. :o)

Yep, That's the attitude you've got to have! Funny how some people want to get the schools and gummit out of their kids lives, but don't hesitate a minute to butt into other kids lives.

[HairOfTheDog]

Right... on the side... Tonight for example, two of us were talking about something that shouldn't be public domain and we were able to say.... "meet in chat room?" on the thread and continue there.... many of the other members also showed up there because they saw somethin' was going on there.

Anyway - good luck with your group.

[ChemistCat]

When my son was 4, he was so afraid of dogs that he manifested genuine terror when he saw one chained up inside a high-fenced yard, with him safely in the car driving past. Prozac was not then well-tested in young children, and if I had it to do over again I probably would not have been so trusting as to consent to it--but there's no question whatsoever that it helped him. It helped him focus, learn to pay attention to other children and what they were doing, as well as to his teacher and family--as well as taking care of the worst of the anxiety. He learned to do this on his own, and then we weaned him off. His brain was still young enough to make new connections, and prozac may have stimulated some of that new "wiring." It also stimulated his appetite. Many autistic children are abnormally fussy about food--some can eat only a few foods. Their sensory problems overwhelm them when they attempt to eat mixed-up foods, or foods with certain textures, just as we'd find it unbearably unpleasant to attempt to eat sand or feathers. My son's months on Prozac turned that around for him. He learned to eat--eagerly--a wide variety of foods, especially the vegetables and meats that his sisters want to avoid. He doesn't like lasagne! but he will eat almost anything else. A healthy appetite is a real blessing in a child. I ought to know--my second child doesn't have an appetite, and her slow growth IS a problem.

[gracie1]

I don't want to move it to Yahoo because then the lurkers can't benefit. I would think many of those who are not afraid to post would agree

Yeah, people have to be able to see both sides of the issue to decide what is best for them. That's the essence of "informed consent".

If we scurry off and hide, we are saying by our actions we are ashamed. Parents have to be in charge of their own families, and not be afraid those who think they know whats in their best interests.

[cherry_bomb88]

Good points, gracie...I'm not afraid of what others think. Besides, if we need something really personal...we have FReep mail, or email.

[cherry_bomb88]

Thanks, and feel free to stop in..I'm going to try and post something "of interest" every morning...or a "question" facing parents of kids with special needs (regardless if that's diabeties, asthma, bipolar or what) something so that whatever we do will help those that come by here.

[gracie1]

I haven't had much exposure with autistic kids, but raising an ADD kid is like trying to walk a 200lb great dane that wants to chase a cat, 24/7.

Once we were at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and he was tring to see every fish in the place in 10 seconds. My husband was very frustrated because he was afraid he would run off and get lost in the crowd. The more he told him "stop or were leaving", the faster he would run. Finally I stopped and said we were not going to leave until we saw every single fish, but we can only see them one at a time. If you go to fast you can't really see them. It worked! He was so afraid we suddenly go, he was trying to see them all at once. When he had assurance that he would get to see all the fish, he slowed down and the day was a pleasant one.

[cherry_bomb88]

Many autistic children are abnormally fussy about food--some can eat only a few foods.

Really?!?! I didn't know that, and I know a mom that is having that problem with some other behavioral problems. She was thinking her son might be bipolar or at least hyperactive...but, is there any other signs she should look for??? I wouldn't classify her son as behaviorial disorder..and he's DEFINITELY a picky eater, there's only about 4 things he'll eat according to her.

[honeygrl]

What I understood from your intro in this thread is that you mean children who are labelled ADHD.. am I right? If so my hubby's cousin has a child that was labelled as that while very young and was real trouble for anyone to handle. I know life was hell for them for a while because he was just so intense all the time. They found a fix though. I know this sounds weird and most people here might not believe in this kind of thing but it worked for them. They took him to a kenesiologist (spelling is probably wrong.) They keep jokingly calling the guy a witch doctor. You find them through your local health food/hippie store. The guy found (through an odd procedure that is hard to explain but it was totally non-invasive) that the child was just allergic to some very common foods. They eliminated those foods (one was bananas I think) and he is now a *perfect* kid. He makes all A's, is laid back, and just so easy to get along with now. It was a shocking change in him. And it was all just caused by allergies to things doctors don't even check. Just an idea for those of you who may be desperate for anything that might help. Just be forewarned... these guys come off as real quacks but if you give them a chance they really may be able to help.

[honeygrl]

"I have had people insist that my son's autism is due to inadequate discipline. I don't spank him enough. Or I'm too demanding of him, or...etc etc. It's all nonsense. He's got a damaged brain, albeit very subtly, and at certain times medication was very helpful to him."

I can't believe someone could be so insensitive about something like that. My hubby's brother is mentally disabled due to (in the docs theory) lack of oxygen at birth. He's 35 now and they send him to a school that helps him learn as best as he can to be more independent so that when his parents one day aren't there to care for him he won't be as difficult for who does care for him then. It will likely be my hubby and I that he would end up with because hubby is so good with him and knows how to deal with certain behaviors patiently. My hubby is so torn lately on the stem cell research thing because he knows the morality issues involved yet he also knows that it's something that could potentially help his brother because they've found it can actually regrow damaged brain tissue. His brother has the mentality of about a 10 yr old I would say. His parents are the best people in the world though for him to have. They just have a gift when it comes to him and if any child had to be born that way then I'm glad it was to parents like my hubby's.

[honeygrl]

My 2 1/2 yr old doesn't have any mental disorders but he does have the most strange eating issues I've seen. But it's totally logical in the reasoning for it. He won't touch wet stuff. He won't eat with anything but his fingers. Therefore, he won't eat wet stuff. All he will eat is dry things like breads, cereals, etc. And he refuses ANY meat at all. We have offered him every type of meat we could find cooked in many varieties of styles and even dry (like bacon) so it's not "yucky" but he just won't eat meat. I've tricked him a few times by disguising it as something he would normally go for but the second he realizes it's meat he spits it out. No idea why he does this. He's also real perfectionist. He can already put all his cars in a straight line and count them up to 10.

[honeygrl]

hrm.. interestingly enough I just read a little about the symptoms of autism and now I am a little concerned regarding me son.. many of the symptoms describe him to a tee although it seems like they could also be normal "terrible twos" behavior which is what I always assume. Should I read up more or just ask the pediatrician to see what he thinks?

[Dianna]

Should I read up more or just ask the pediatrician to see what he thinks

I would go through the list of symptoms, making note of behaviors that correspond and how often they occur. And then talk it over with your Dr. I've seen a number of people who have said that early intervention was key for helping their children.

My son (Asperger's) wasn't diagnosed until he was 9, but was in therapy and social skills groups from 7. We've made very little headway with him and any gains, I think, have come from maturity.

[Dianna]

Hi cb! I was lurking on your thread the other night and am glad to see this.

My son is almost 11, diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and we're transitioning to middle school in the fall. I'm dreading it, but trying oh-so-hard not to show it since he's anxious enough without my help.

The stupid middle school people invited the incoming 6th graders to a SCHOOL DANCE! They are 10 YO! My son was wanting to go (unusual for him), lots of kids seemed to be going and I fight myself to allow him to be involved in stupid stuff like this so that he isn't shut off or seen as even more dorky because of my opinions.

He asked a couple of "older girls" to dance, they looked at him like he had a disease, and he was crushed. Spent most of the night depressed in the bathroom. It didn't help much that his dad explained that it happens to every guy. I just HATE this!