God conducts blind drawing.
Posted on 03/20/2003 4:37:00 PM PST by EveningStar
Jews, whose troubled, 10,000-year term as God's "chosen people" finally expired last night, woke up this morning to find that they had once again been hand-picked by the Almighty. Synagogues across the globe declared a day of mourning.
Asked if the descendants of Abraham shouldn't be pleased about being tapped for an unprecedented second term, Jerusalem Rabbi Ben Meyerson shrugged. "Of course, you are right, we should be thrilled," he said. "We should also enjoy a good swift kick in the head, but for some reason, we don't.
God conducts blind drawing.
(Excerpt) Read more at satirewire.com ...
I don't know if you ever saw this. It's old but it still cracks me up. :)
I demand a recount.
ROFLMAO
Still batting a thousand! ... Sandy Koufax not withstanding.
I'm CAIR will be issuing a statement of outrage shortly........
Smiles bump!
"Mormon. The correct religion was Mormon"
OY!
Sounds like the Rowan Atkinson sketch:
Ah hello! It's nice to see you all here. As the more perceptive of you probably realised by now, this is Hell. And I am the Devil (good evening), but you can call me Toby, if you like. We try to keep things informal in here, as well as infernal. That's just a little joke of mine. I tell it every time.
Now, you're all here for... eternity! Ooh! Which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time, so you'll all get to know each other pretty well by the end. But for now I'm going to have to split you up in groups. WILL YOU STOP SCREAMING! Thank you.
Now, murderers? Murderers over here, please. Thank you. Looters and pillagers over there. Thieves, if you could join them, and lawyers, you're in that lot too.
Fornicators, if you could step forward? My God, there are a lot of you! Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Male adulterers, if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine in the corner.
Em... the French, are you here? If you could just like to come down here with the Germans. I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about.
Okay, atheists? Atheists over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of nitwits. Never mind. And finally, Christians. Christians? Ah, yes, I'm sorry but I'm afraid the Jews were right. If you would come down here, that would be really fine.
Okay! Right, well, are there any questions? Yes?
No, I'm afraid there aren't any toilets. If you read your Bible, you might have seen that it was damnation without relief, so if you did not go before you came, then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much... but then I believe that's the idea.
Okay. Well, it's over to you, Adolf! And I'll catch you all later at the barbecue. Bye!
If the Jews are God's chosen people, I would hate to see a people he didn't like.
Thanks for putting that up; it's always been one of his best bits.
bump ; I have that on video ... it's classic.
LOL!
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