Funny, Funny Email Joke That No One Has Ever Read Before!

My Email Account (And Only A Few People Have Received It) | December 3, 2002 | Self

[Illbay]

 Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
  
  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a giraffe in heat.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
  
  WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
  
  WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Maak you tink you can tipe real gode. 

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

If I guess correctly how many people post "AND ***THIS*** IS BREAKING NEWS?" will I win a prize? :-)

[Snuffington]

I can't believe it - a "Vanity" from Illbay!

This is the point where we call the nice young men in white coats to take Illbay off to the happy place with nice soft walls to rest for a while. All his thread monitoring has caused him to snap!

[mikrofon]

Already plastered here...
(BTW, when does the side bar open, SM? ;^)

[wimpycat]

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are the greatest lover of all time and that your significant other is begging for you to demonstrate your many and varied talents.

[Neets]

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may result in your Vanity Thread being moved from "Breaking News" to the "Moose and Cheese" side.

[xJones]

I can explain it to you later if you want in (excruciating) detail.

Oh, excruciate me, baby!

[McGruff]

I've always wanted to do this.

Zap!

[Neets]

It's ZOT!

[gracie1]

(BTW, when does the side bar open, SM? ;^)

Is there a happy hour?

[Ditter]

The truest best humor always has an element of truth. All I can figure is that you were one of the drunks if you haven't seen these things happen.