Fantasy gaming institute invents 24-sided die, social retards rejoice

Bob From Accounting ^ | Brian Farrelly and Jay Barba

[Texaggie79]

GENEVA— The word spread like wildfire on role-playing websites Friday following the stunning news the Fantasy Gaming Institute had at long last engineered the heretofore unattainable 24-sided die. According to Eric Wallen, a 34-year old Radio Shack employee who's also an 18th level Mystical Elf known as Bilbo Bezzlebug with a +100 immunity to magic spells, the new invention is the greatest contribution to Dungeons and Dragons since the invention of Fiddle Faddle. "People used to say I was wasting my life with this role-playing stuff," Wallen said. "I can't believe how close I was to giving up my regular, Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday D & D game. But now these new dice have totally changed everything." Researchers at the Gaming Institute spent several years working on the groundbreaking dice, while many in scientific community doubted whether a die consisting of more than 20 sides was physically possible. Most famous among these doubters was Stephen Hawking, who once wrote a paper claiming "a polyhedral die with over 20 sides would supply results so varied and unpredictable, pursuing this course of action would be reckless. Perhaps even foolhardy!" Foolhardiness aside, the researchers bravely pressed on and within a decade produced the world's first 24-sided die by smelting plutonium together with a beat-up old golf ball. The invention couldn’t come at a better time for the world of fantasy gaming, as many feel the popularity of role playing games has fallen to a new low due to the free and easy access to the youth drug Ecstasy, which has provided teens with a fantasy life that often involves girls and sex. Jimmy Fryberg, 38, brushed off the criticism and vowed to keep playing no matter how many times his mother called him for dinner. "People said the same thing in back in the late 80's with the release of Curse of the Azure Bonds and the Secret of the Silver Blades." Fryberg said. "Then the defeat of Tyranthraxus the Flamed One when the heroic party was waylaid, knocked out, and marked with the five mysterious azure bonds, it changed everything." Added Fryberg. "Man, those were the best years of my life."

Above: Jimmy Fryberg loves D&D so much he sold his testicles to pay for a new computer for online gaming.

[realpatriot71]

You're only as old as you let yourself feel . . ;-)

[John Jamieson]

a polyhedral die with over 20 sides would supply results so varied and unpredictable

Seems like a lack of predictability would be some what desirable.

[Focault's Pendulum]

MMMM HMMM, sure, you don't roleplay.

I'm getting old. In Monopoly, I just wanted to be the candlestick..

[weegee]

pong *PING*

[JRandomFreeper]

There's a guy in my class who's 35.

LOL! I rejoined the Reserves after 18 years at the fine young age of 40.

You're darn right we bring a lot of life experience. It's probably easier on him than it is you. He knows more tricks than you do. He doesn't have to work quite so hard to accomplish the same objectives. And I bet he's not freeping. GRIN!

/john

[John Locke]

The maximum number of faces on a semiregular polyhedron is 112. For a detailed description, go here.

[supercat]

The maximum number of faces on a semiregular polyhedron is 112. For a detailed description, go here.

Interesting web site, but I didn't see any reference to the stated claim. Perhaps you can point me in the right direction?

Also, I'm curious exactly how "semi-regular" is defined? Does it mean that all faces are isomorphic but that edges and vertices are not? The Archimedian solids do not meet this qualification as they have different kinds of faces, but solids with such quality may be constructed with any desired even number of faces (examine a D10 and extend the principle as desired). To be sure, producing a D24 by this method would be sorta iffy; producing a D114 by this method would be crazy. Can't see anything to prevent it, though.

While this article sounds like a spoof, I'm curious whether anyone has actually marketed a good D24? I've seen a D30 and a D60 [for the latter, take a dodecahedron and replace each face with five triangular ones; for the former, do the above but then nuke the central edge from each face and reshape things to flatten them] but am not clear how one could make a roundish D24.

[realpatriot71]

It's probably easier on him than it is you.

I would say yes and no. We all have the same amount of material, but he's got life "settled" while many of us are still trying NOT to be such goofy kids.

As to FReeping, I don't know. I should ask him :-)