Election Results Are In: Christ Still On His Throne

Babylon Bee ^ | November 3, 2026 | Staff

[Engraved-on-His-hands]

U.S. - A number of news outlets, including CNN, Fox News, and NBC, are calling the current election in favor of Jesus Christ, who is still sovereignly reigning from His throne on high, sources confirmed late Tuesday.

News organizations were closely tracking votes tallied for Democrats, Republicans and the various third-party candidates into the night, but by 11:00 p.m. EST, the majority of major television channels and news sites agreed that the Lord Jesus was still sovereign over all creation.

"We've got to go ahead and call this thing for Jesus," Wolf Blitzer said on CNN's live Election Day coverage. "We've crunched the numbers every which way, and based on our careful calculations of all the electoral college votes available, Jesus is still before all things, and in him all things still hold together, as the word of God says."

"Clearly God continues to be in complete control of everything as He reigns in glory," he added.

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Religion
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; elections; satire

[InsidiousMongo]

Tribulation Period has entered the chat.

[chickenlips]

It’s not always easy, but...

1Th 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

[roving]

God must be pretty pissed off at us.

[deks]

re: God must be pretty pissed off at us.

I hope and pray that this is not the end of America....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWRcx9LHBJU

[No name given]

So do I. But if this is the end of America, it was nice while it lasted.

[No name given]

Amen.

[butterdezillion]

Is that the real Jesus, or the Talarico Jesus who is non-binary and loves abortion?

Seems like Texan voters don’t know the difference.

[Flaming Conservative]

Seems like Texan voters don’t know the difference.

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Don’t you mean it seems like California voters don’t know the difference?

[Psalm 73]

"We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed" -
2 Corinthians 4:8-9

[SisterK]

Tribulation Period has entered the chat.

buckle up

[DeplorableTrumpSupporter]

I read this earlier, but I didn’t reply. Now, I think that Jesus and HIS FATHER has a plan for America.

[P8riot]

We should be praying for revival, both personal and national, instead of political consensus. Things will not change until that happens.

[Retain Mike]

"Clearly God continues to be in complete control of everything as He reigns in glory," he added.

When speaking about the sovereignty of God people forget about the free will of man. The paths people can follow to destroy themselves and the world around them are limitless.