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Election Results Are In: Christ Still On His Throne
Babylon Bee ^ | November 3, 2026 | Staff

Posted on 11/03/2026 8:31:52 PM PST by Engraved-on-His-hands

U.S. - A number of news outlets, including CNN, Fox News, and NBC, are calling the current election in favor of Jesus Christ, who is still sovereignly reigning from His throne on high, sources confirmed late Tuesday.

News organizations were closely tracking votes tallied for Democrats, Republicans and the various third-party candidates into the night, but by 11:00 p.m. EST, the majority of major television channels and news sites agreed that the Lord Jesus was still sovereign over all creation.

"We've got to go ahead and call this thing for Jesus," Wolf Blitzer said on CNN's live Election Day coverage. "We've crunched the numbers every which way, and based on our careful calculations of all the electoral college votes available, Jesus is still before all things, and in him all things still hold together, as the word of God says."

"Clearly God continues to be in complete control of everything as He reigns in glory," he added.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Religion
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; elections; satire

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1 posted on 11/03/2026 8:31:52 PM PST by Engraved-on-His-hands
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To: Engraved-on-His-hands

Tribulation Period has entered the chat.


2 posted on 11/03/2026 8:33:55 PM PST by InsidiousMongo
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To: Engraved-on-His-hands

It’s not always easy, but...

1Th 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.


3 posted on 11/03/2026 8:41:13 PM PST by chickenlips (The cost of freedom is going up, but it's not from inflation.)
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To: Engraved-on-His-hands

God must be pretty pissed off at us.


4 posted on 11/03/2026 9:07:19 PM PST by roving
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To: roving

re: God must be pretty pissed off at us.

I hope and pray that this is not the end of America....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWRcx9LHBJU


5 posted on 11/03/2026 9:10:37 PM PST by deks (America cannot be made great in complete isolation from the adversaries that are harming Americans)
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To: deks

So do I. But if this is the end of America, it was nice while it lasted.


6 posted on 11/03/2026 10:06:33 PM PST by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: chickenlips

Amen.


7 posted on 11/03/2026 10:07:01 PM PST by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: Engraved-on-His-hands

Is that the real Jesus, or the Talarico Jesus who is non-binary and loves abortion?

Seems like Texan voters don’t know the difference.


8 posted on 11/03/2026 10:24:09 PM PST by butterdezillion
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To: butterdezillion

Seems like Texan voters don’t know the difference.


Don’t you mean it seems like California voters don’t know the difference?


9 posted on 11/03/2026 10:28:41 PM PST by Flaming Conservative ((Pray without ceasing))
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