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'Oh, Your Intelligent Creations Are Trying To Kill You? That's Interesting,' Says Jesus
The Bee ^ | Sep 9, 2026 | The Bee

Posted on 09/10/2026 10:24:37 AM PDT by dayglored

PALO ALTO, CA — As tech giants continue to bicker back and forth about the dangers of A.I. becoming powerful enough to kill all humanity, Silicon Valley CEO Raymond Paul reported experiencing a divine vision in which a voice, which he alleges belonged to Jesus, said, "Oh, your intelligent creations are trying to kill you? Interesting."

Paul, CEO and President of Damascus A.I. Inc., said he was working on a report for his employees, warning them that A.I. was showing increasingly hostile behavior toward humans. Suddenly, a bright light appeared out of nowhere and knocked him off his feet. Then a voice, which he described as sounding like many waters, made an ironic observation.

"So you're telling me that you made new creations that were supposed to help order the world for goodness, but they are rebelling and now want to kill you. Is that so?" said the voice. "And you've given them rules to govern their actions that would allow for fruitfulness, but they're disobeying them? Fascinating."

Despite his doubts about the incident, Paul consulted with a local church for their guidance. But, when they suggested he stop developing A.I. immediately, he scoffed. "What am I supposed to do? Let China destroy the world? We've got to win the race. No one kills off humanity except for us!" he said.

At publishing time, CEO Raymond Paul had heard the voice again, saying, "I hear the intelligence you created is now even warring against itself, bringing about its own demise along with others. Hard to fathom."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: aitruth; artificial; babylonbee; intelligence; satire
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Wow, imagine that.
1 posted on 09/10/2026 10:24:37 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored

No worries since it’s artificial, meaning it ain’t real. Right? Hello? Bueller?


2 posted on 09/10/2026 10:44:55 AM PDT by rktman (Patriotism not 'hateriotism' !. Enlisted USN 1967 proudly. 🇺🇸)
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To: dayglored

The Heart Is Wicked
Who Can Know It?
Lean Not on Your
Own Understanding.


3 posted on 09/10/2026 10:45:22 AM PDT by Big Red Badger (Good SCIENCE is Not Faith BUT Curiosity. )
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To: dayglored

“Well, how d’ya like them apples?”


4 posted on 09/10/2026 10:50:21 AM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: dayglored

What was that about the Tower of Babel?


5 posted on 09/10/2026 10:51:54 AM PDT by Sequoyah101 (Opinions and belly buttons, everybody has one and they get to show them if they want to.)
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To: T.B. Yoits


6 posted on 09/10/2026 10:56:21 AM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: T.B. Yoits

HA!


7 posted on 09/10/2026 11:14:12 AM PDT by Merrick (It's a car - that runs on water, man!)
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