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Posted on 01/26/2026 5:54:42 AM PST by V_TWIN
Join Toggle navigation menu Banner Ad Frustrated Don Lemon Wonders What A Guy Has To Do To Get Sent To Men's Prison Media · Jan 24, 2026 · BabylonBee.com Image for article: Frustrated Don Lemon Wonders What A Guy Has To Do To Get Sent To Men's Prison Banner Ad MINNEAPOLIS, MN — After a judge threw out the charges against him, a frustrated Don Lemon wondered what a guy had to do to get inside one of those prisons full of men.
Despite Lemon's best efforts to commit multiple crimes in as public a manner as possible, he has yet to make any headway on getting access to a male prison.
"What do you want from me, huh?" cried Lemon. "I literally filmed myself committing crimes and then posted it online for everyone to see. You can't at least put some handcuffs on me, maybe put me in a prison yard with a bunch of guys working up a sweat? What else am I supposed to do?"
According to sources, an exasperated Lemon showed the judge video proof that he committed several crimes, but to no avail. "He just kept asking if this was at least good enough for a strip search," said Judge Roger Barnes. "I kept telling him that as his liberal buddy, I was doing him a huge favor. He just kept sobbing and muttering about soap. I was only trying to help."
At publishing time, Lemon had redoubled his efforts to get in a men's prison by videoing himself overstating the value of his Florida home.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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Enjoyment of anal sex for starters.
“Despite Lemon’s best efforts to commit multiple crimes in as public a manner as possible, he has yet to make any headway on getting access to a male prison.”
A fifteen yard penalty on the Bee for unnecessary roughness.
LOL!
This article may be a joke but I am 100% certain that Lemon wants to be sent to jail. He’d only go for a short time to a minimum security facility and he’d be able to call himself a martyr to Trump’s evil policies and revive his moribund career.
Good point. Since nothing has happened, the braintrust may want real hard time for him instead of the PR arrest.
“Frustrated Don Lemon Wonders What A Guy Has To Do To Get Sent To Men’s Prison”. Maybe send a picture of your ding dong to Michelle Obama?
LOLOLOL!
I guess Don really does want to drop the soap!
A good one by BB!
He benefits from being protected in our "two-tier" justice system.
He prides himself of doing two at a time fill me up boys.
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