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Posted on 12/04/2025 6:47:22 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin
An inebriated raccoon was taken into custody after allegedly breaking into a Virginia liquor store on Black Friday, partaking in what officials have deemed a "liquor-fueled rampage."
A trail of smashed liquor bottles led police to the masked suspect, who was found passed out in the sploot position on the Ashland business's bathroom floor, according to Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter.
In an embarrassing photo shared by authorities, the plastered procyonid could be seen lying next to a garbage can and toilet.
The town later identified the four-legged intruder as "Cole," noting he may need a ride home after the "wild weekend."
Officials said police brought the furry bandit to the animal shelter to sober up.
"After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer," officials wrote in a statement.
The shelter added there is no footage of the incident, as the raccoon entered the building through the ceiling and "took the cameras down with him."
Police have not yet released a motive for the trash panda's invasion, though they responded to the animal shelter's statement with a GIF of TV talent judge Simon Cowell clapping.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
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People must really identify with this raccoon; I haven’t seen an article cross-posted as widely as this one in some time. There’s even a t-shirt with the image on it.
In my experience, raccoons are on a rampage whether drunk OR sober! ;)
“Rocky Raccoon checked into his room
Only to find Gideon’s Bible
Rocky had come, equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems, had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy
Her name was Magill, and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy”
I had a Cashier that worked for me at one point and I sang the last two lines to her on a daily basis, LOL!
“Man. We’ve all be there, right?”
Imperial Beach, CA, 1990. *SHUDDER*
We are an easily amused species. ;)
Ahhhhh....the infamous “sploot” position. Brings back memories of my 20s.
An inebriated raccoon was taken into custody after allegedly breaking into a Virginia liquor store on Black Friday, partaking in what officials have deemed a “liquor-fueled rampage.” Coons gonna coon now, they are clever.
He’s a fall guy. The squirrels set him up.
Their skills at destruction of property at also more than impressive. They chew everything including electrical wiring. They are bushy tailed rat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-KDSxqJ_0o
Could have been the whiskey, might have been the gin.
Could have been three or four six-packs,
I don’t know, but look at the mess I’m in,
My head is like a football, I think I’m gonna die,
Tell me, me oh me oh my,
Wasn’t that a party?
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