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Posted on 11/28/2025 9:08:18 AM PST by V_TWIN
MOULTONBOROUGH, NH — To make the most of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Richardson family reportedly instituted helpful debate rules allowing for 2-minute speeches followed by a 1-minute rebuttal.
"We have to have order, people," Henry Richardson said. "No shouting over people, or you're not getting any dessert."
According to sources, pre-planned debate topics for the Richardson family Thanksgiving include, but are not limited to, the American school system, January 6, and cranberry sauce. Strangely missing from the family's planned discourse is a debate on transgenderism, owing in large part to the fact that cousin Freddie's new name is Francesca.
Heather Richardson, who has no intention of debating any topics, will serve as moderator to the rest of the family. The kids' table will serve as judges, forcing speakers to dumb down their language for two-year-old Susie Richardson.
The family will reportedly employ the British Parliamentary debate format, where speakers are scored by judges each round based on individual performance and placement. Total points allotted will determine who advances through the topics to eventually argue about Mormonism.
At publishing time, Uncle Chester had been docked points in the debate on Tucker Carlson for invoking the "Jews Control Everything" fallacy.
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The Festivus Pole is only for 23 December.
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I read the whole excerpt before I realized it was the Babylon Bee.
We had a democracy at dinner...Everyone got a chance to review their day. It was always very interesting. As to voting...democratic...kinda...I had final say but I did listen to their input.
You have 361 days a year to let it dominate your thoughts and words. Easter, Independence Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas give it a rest.
(We did talk about the fact that the choir robes looked strange under the new lights in the choir loft. There was debate on if we should get new robes or change the lights.)
“Family Institutes Thanksgiving Debate Rules Allowing 2-Minute Speeches With 1-Minute Rebuttal”
Works until one family member grabs a turkey drumstick and beats the arguing family to death with it.
Pi$$ on that. So, the screaming arseholes get twice as much time?
Pi$$ of you.
Most liberals could not possibly sit through a two minute defense of Trump without going bonkers and screaming fascist and Hitler!
The Festivus Pole is only for 23 December.
That is open to debate.
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