Posted on 11/18/2025 11:01:32 AM PST by E. Pluribus Unum
PALO ALTO, CA — A startling new study out of Stanford University shows almost all graduating high school seniors in the U.S. are unable to recall the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
"The data are troubling, to say the least," study lead Marsha Mitchel said. "20 years ago, only 10 percent of seniors were unable to answer the question. Now it's near 90 percent. I don't know what's happening in public education, but something's got to change."
The study's authors said they even let kids choose between answering the airspeed of either an African or European swallow, and kids were still stumped. Many respondents to the questions just answered with "What is this referencing?" and "I think this is from a movie my dad likes."
"The question was just worded so confusingly, I don't know how anyone would have known it," high school senior Brooke Taylor said. "The question just said, ‘What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?' It didn't provide us with any background information or other data that would be useful in answering the question. I guessed 800…I have no idea. 800 what? I don't even know."
At publishing time, the answer was revealed to be 10 meters per second, or 22 miles per hour. All high school students who missed the question were launched off a bridge into a bog.
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Don’t look at me. I’m still trying to figure out my favorite colour.
It’s a joke son, a joke. We keep pitching ‘em and you keep missin’ “em.
Or an Africanized bee.
I always carry my own duck with me making sure we are not of equal weight.
They also think swallows can carry a coconut.
“10 meters per second, or 22 miles per hour”
WRONG!
Velocity is a vector quantity. In addition to the magnitude (speed), a direction is required.
“Where’s my bucket?!”
A trick question. If the swallow is working for the government, it might take all day no matter what the distance.
Everyone knows the answer is 42
So, thats why 90% of graduating seniors never made it over that bridge.
Disturbingly when asked the question 50% replied, “I don’t swallow.”
I fart in your direction...
👍
My BIL and I did the same. We were both unemployed at the time.
“African or European?”
Well, an African swallow is not mi-great-ory
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