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Exhausted Government Employees Hoping To Go Back To Work Soon So They Can Get Some Rest
BabylonBee.com ^ | Oct 14, 2025 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/14/2025 3:00:23 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

U.S. — According to sources, federal employees are eager for the government shutdown to end so they can go back to work and get some real rest.

"Vacation is nice, but I'm always tired at the end of it and feel like I need a vacation from my vacation, you know?" said Dan Patrick, an auditor for the IRS. "I miss sleeping in my cubicle while doing nothing of note for the American people and collecting a big fat check."

According to sources, all but the most essential federal employees have been sent home without pay as a result of the government shutdown, which means they're now living in an environment where people expect something from them.

"It's such hard work being with my family," admitted federal employee Henry Nameth. "How can people stand doing useful and helpful things all the time? This doesn't feel right."

"I'm a non-essential employee, which means I don't really do anything," said Dr. William Zu, a planetary protection officer for NASA. "My job is to protect the earth from alien microbes, which haven't been discovered yet, so it's a sweet gig. I get to take naps and watch movies all day. Oh, and the paycheck is nice."

At publishing time, Democrats once again voted to keep the government shutdown, causing furloughed workers to finally abandon the party.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 10/14/2025 3:00:23 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Does The IRS shut down during a shutdown?


2 posted on 10/14/2025 3:05:14 PM PDT by Texas Eagle ("Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack"- Donald J. Trump)
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To: Texas Eagle

No


3 posted on 10/14/2025 3:10:56 PM PDT by Fledermaus ("It turns out all we really needed was a new President!")
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Why did I take a job at the mattress factory?

Because it’s the only place I can fall asleep and still be considered productive. 🛏️


4 posted on 10/14/2025 3:20:32 PM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

The Bee stings government bureaucrats again!


5 posted on 10/14/2025 4:03:16 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won, Celebrate Recivilization!)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

kudos to the BEE....again...


6 posted on 10/14/2025 4:32:02 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
"Vacation is nice, but I'm always tired at the end of it and feel like I need a vacation from my vacation, you know?" said Dan Patrick, an auditor for the IRS. "I miss sleeping in my cubicle while doing nothing of note for the American people and collecting a big fat check."

Love it!! Thank you, Babylon Bee...

7 posted on 10/14/2025 4:40:58 PM PDT by DeplorableTrumpSupporter (FKA ConservaTeen)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

The IRS auditors are probably getting the time off. You know which clock never stops running? The Interest that the IRS collects on past due taxes. You can be sure that it humming right along while the auditors lollygaggle.


8 posted on 10/14/2025 5:09:49 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: Navy Patriot

LOL! You gotta love Babylon Bee.


9 posted on 10/14/2025 5:43:31 PM PDT by Jean2
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

😂


10 posted on 10/14/2025 6:30:54 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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