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Sound Of Husband Plopping Down On Couch Helpfully Reminds Wife There’s Something She Wanted Him To Do
babylonbee.com ^ | Aug 7, 2025

Posted on 08/08/2025 5:12:34 AM PDT by V_TWIN

TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave, plopping down on the couch, as it instantly reminded her of all the things she needed him to do for her.

While her husband had just finished mowing and weeding the yard after spending all day working at his day job, Danielle didn't remember all of the pressing tasks she needed him to complete until she heard his body make contact with the couch cushions.

"Oh! Dave!" she exclaimed. "Can you bring in the giant bag of flour I bought from Costco that's in the back of the van in the garage? I need it right now to make bread for dinner, and it's so heavy."

Dave reportedly sighed, savoring the two seconds he got to enjoy sitting on the couch before slowly standing up and heading out to the garage. "I felt my back make contact with the couch for a moment, and it felt nice," he said. "I'd like to try that again sometime... but maybe for longer."

Danielle thanked her husband for bringing her the bag of flour and paused, holding still to see if she could hear him sit down once again. "Dave... are you going to sit down? I could use some help with the dishes before I start dinner."

At publishing time, sources said Dave could be heard trying to "sneak" away to use the restroom before Danielle asked him how long he was planning on being gone, as the garbage needed to be taken out.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cuethetriggeredmen; satire
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To: norsky

Yes sir! Duct tape rules! 👍


61 posted on 08/08/2025 9:12:09 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: 1Old Pro

Sounds like she doesn’t have a sense of humor then. Don’t share it with her.

Here’s a thing. I don’t tell my husband what to do, and he doesn’t tell me what to do. We both know our jobs, and just do them, and if we don’t do them, they don’t get done until one of us decides to tackle the chore. Eventually, those chores somehow manage to get done by one or the other of us. We’re partners.

We do treat each other with kindness, respect, and I think we love and cherish each other. Our kids tell us we make it look easy. Maybe we do. We have learned to be flexible with each other, and not to be quick to criticize. There’s usually a good reason why something fell to the wayside. Plan the work, work the plan. Get back on track as soon as you can. Then enjoy the fruits of your labor and each other!


62 posted on 08/08/2025 9:17:50 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: FamiliarFace

She’d laugh at this, it’s exactly what I explain to her as she does it and we both laugh - then we get all our work done because it’s a labor of love.


63 posted on 08/08/2025 9:20:08 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: V_TWIN

I wonder if carrying a clipboard around would work at home?


64 posted on 08/08/2025 9:23:44 AM PDT by Cold Heart (BP S GW)
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To: FamiliarFace

You can tell what to do, or you can tell me how to do it. You don’t get to do both!


65 posted on 08/08/2025 9:24:04 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Cold Heart

“I wonder if carrying a clipboard around would work at home?”

Nah.....she’d just probably put the honey do list on it.....at least I know mine would. 😏


66 posted on 08/08/2025 9:26:51 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: dfwgator

Growing up, I was told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. When Dad said “jump!” the only answer that didn’t get you whacked was “how high?”


67 posted on 08/08/2025 9:34:29 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: FamiliarFace

“how high?”


You said ‘high’, are you doing drugs?!?!?! *SMACK*


68 posted on 08/08/2025 9:35:40 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: dfwgator

LOL.


69 posted on 08/08/2025 9:38:21 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: FamiliarFace

Please stiffle yourself.


70 posted on 08/08/2025 9:40:22 AM PDT by central_va (The I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
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To: rlmorel

Thanks. I listened to the whole thing.


71 posted on 08/08/2025 9:53:34 AM PDT by stevio (Fight until you die!)
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To: central_va

I’m no dingbat, even if Edith came across that way.


72 posted on 08/08/2025 9:54:18 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: V_TWIN

Universal truth!


73 posted on 08/08/2025 10:03:49 AM PDT by packrat35 (Pureblood! No clot shot for me!)
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To: rlmorel

Bookmark


74 posted on 08/08/2025 10:04:59 AM PDT by Redcitizen
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To: rlmorel

Bookmark


75 posted on 08/08/2025 10:05:02 AM PDT by Redcitizen
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To: Opinionated Blowhard
I feel like grunting and groaning but I make a conscious effort NOT to. Just because I'm old I don't need to sound old too.
76 posted on 08/08/2025 10:12:25 AM PDT by 21twelve (Ever Vigilant - Never Fearful)
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To: V_TWIN

.


77 posted on 08/08/2025 11:53:29 AM PDT by redinIllinois (Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi issue voter )
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