Sounds like she doesn’t have a sense of humor then. Don’t share it with her.
Here’s a thing. I don’t tell my husband what to do, and he doesn’t tell me what to do. We both know our jobs, and just do them, and if we don’t do them, they don’t get done until one of us decides to tackle the chore. Eventually, those chores somehow manage to get done by one or the other of us. We’re partners.
We do treat each other with kindness, respect, and I think we love and cherish each other. Our kids tell us we make it look easy. Maybe we do. We have learned to be flexible with each other, and not to be quick to criticize. There’s usually a good reason why something fell to the wayside. Plan the work, work the plan. Get back on track as soon as you can. Then enjoy the fruits of your labor and each other!
She’d laugh at this, it’s exactly what I explain to her as she does it and we both laugh - then we get all our work done because it’s a labor of love.
You can tell what to do, or you can tell me how to do it. You don’t get to do both!