Posted on 08/08/2025 5:12:34 AM PDT by V_TWIN
TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave, plopping down on the couch, as it instantly reminded her of all the things she needed him to do for her.
While her husband had just finished mowing and weeding the yard after spending all day working at his day job, Danielle didn't remember all of the pressing tasks she needed him to complete until she heard his body make contact with the couch cushions.
"Oh! Dave!" she exclaimed. "Can you bring in the giant bag of flour I bought from Costco that's in the back of the van in the garage? I need it right now to make bread for dinner, and it's so heavy."
Dave reportedly sighed, savoring the two seconds he got to enjoy sitting on the couch before slowly standing up and heading out to the garage. "I felt my back make contact with the couch for a moment, and it felt nice," he said. "I'd like to try that again sometime... but maybe for longer."
Danielle thanked her husband for bringing her the bag of flour and paused, holding still to see if she could hear him sit down once again. "Dave... are you going to sit down? I could use some help with the dishes before I start dinner."
At publishing time, sources said Dave could be heard trying to "sneak" away to use the restroom before Danielle asked him how long he was planning on being gone, as the garbage needed to be taken out.
ROFL! A keeper!!
Or.....
She also could have worked all day too. Then did the shopping. Then started dinner. Then on and on.
The snarking here at Dave’s wife is unjustified. This satire is not funny.
I will vouch that the pastor has it nailed for women. I also note that there are very few times when my husband says “nothing” when asked what he’s thinking about, but he does compartmentalize very well. He is so steady. Very good at diffusing difficult or uncomfortable situations.
Yes...it is a priceless video!
Yes, it is funny, but I do not know too many couples like that. Maybe my one brother and my husband’s brother. My spouse is NOT.
“Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave, plopping down on the couch, as it instantly reminded her of all the things she needed him to do for her.”
I would give anything to hear the sound of my husband plopping down on the couch!
He died a couple of years ago right after he retired, it wasn’t fair, but it happened.
I heard this not too long ago: “The sweetest sound in the world is snoring.” Ask any widow...
TRUTH.
I hear you.
My wife has THE loudest sneeze of any woman I’ve ever heard....OR man for that matter.
I was thinking the other day, I shouldn’t complain about it, God forbid, one day I won’t hear that sneeze anymore and I’d give anything to hear it again. 🙂
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So sorry for your loss. 🙏
That’s why men and women ‘of a certain age’ are called ‘grown-ups.’
We groan when we get up.
Should I send this to my wife, nah
Dave needs to be careful or he will end up sleeping on the couch.
The key qualification a woman looks for in a husband is his handyman skills.
Not unless she has a sense of humor.
Not this woman. I wanted someone who wasn’t like Archie Bunker.
It’s like a cat when they hear the can-opener.
The Bee?
This is true.
I'm thinking it would just spark her to thinking of new things to do ....immediately.
Whatever happened to “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan...and never never forget how to make you a man.”
Looks like your the minority on this thread my friend, a lot of people are having a good time with it.
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Maybe you should just lighten up a little.
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