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Sound Of Husband Plopping Down On Couch Helpfully Reminds Wife There’s Something She Wanted Him To Do
babylonbee.com ^ | Aug 7, 2025

Posted on 08/08/2025 5:12:34 AM PDT by V_TWIN

TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave, plopping down on the couch, as it instantly reminded her of all the things she needed him to do for her.

While her husband had just finished mowing and weeding the yard after spending all day working at his day job, Danielle didn't remember all of the pressing tasks she needed him to complete until she heard his body make contact with the couch cushions.

"Oh! Dave!" she exclaimed. "Can you bring in the giant bag of flour I bought from Costco that's in the back of the van in the garage? I need it right now to make bread for dinner, and it's so heavy."

Dave reportedly sighed, savoring the two seconds he got to enjoy sitting on the couch before slowly standing up and heading out to the garage. "I felt my back make contact with the couch for a moment, and it felt nice," he said. "I'd like to try that again sometime... but maybe for longer."

Danielle thanked her husband for bringing her the bag of flour and paused, holding still to see if she could hear him sit down once again. "Dave... are you going to sit down? I could use some help with the dishes before I start dinner."

At publishing time, sources said Dave could be heard trying to "sneak" away to use the restroom before Danielle asked him how long he was planning on being gone, as the garbage needed to be taken out.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cuethetriggeredmen; satire
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To: Sicon

ROFL! A keeper!!


41 posted on 08/08/2025 7:14:08 AM PDT by DCPatriot ("It aint what you don't know that kills you. It's what you know that aint so" Theodore Sturgeon))
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To: subterfuge

Or.....

She also could have worked all day too. Then did the shopping. Then started dinner. Then on and on.

The snarking here at Dave’s wife is unjustified. This satire is not funny.


42 posted on 08/08/2025 7:19:21 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (Import the third world. Become the second world.)
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To: rlmorel

I will vouch that the pastor has it nailed for women. I also note that there are very few times when my husband says “nothing” when asked what he’s thinking about, but he does compartmentalize very well. He is so steady. Very good at diffusing difficult or uncomfortable situations.


43 posted on 08/08/2025 7:19:50 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: FamiliarFace

Yes...it is a priceless video!


44 posted on 08/08/2025 7:22:10 AM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Yes, it is funny, but I do not know too many couples like that. Maybe my one brother and my husband’s brother. My spouse is NOT.


45 posted on 08/08/2025 7:31:50 AM PDT by madison10 (There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.)
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To: V_TWIN

“Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave, plopping down on the couch, as it instantly reminded her of all the things she needed him to do for her.”

I would give anything to hear the sound of my husband plopping down on the couch!

He died a couple of years ago right after he retired, it wasn’t fair, but it happened.

I heard this not too long ago: “The sweetest sound in the world is snoring.” Ask any widow...

TRUTH.


46 posted on 08/08/2025 7:32:10 AM PDT by Bon of Babble (You Say You Want a Revolutioan?)
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To: Bon of Babble

I hear you.

My wife has THE loudest sneeze of any woman I’ve ever heard....OR man for that matter.

I was thinking the other day, I shouldn’t complain about it, God forbid, one day I won’t hear that sneeze anymore and I’d give anything to hear it again. 🙂

-

So sorry for your loss. 🙏


47 posted on 08/08/2025 7:38:25 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: Opinionated Blowhard

That’s why men and women ‘of a certain age’ are called ‘grown-ups.’

We groan when we get up.


48 posted on 08/08/2025 8:03:35 AM PDT by Quality_Not_Quantity ("...for the sake of His name." Psalm 23:3)
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To: V_TWIN

Should I send this to my wife, nah


49 posted on 08/08/2025 8:05:28 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: V_TWIN

Dave needs to be careful or he will end up sleeping on the couch.


50 posted on 08/08/2025 8:07:58 AM PDT by Fresh Wind (Kamala defines herself in just 4 words..."Nothing comes to mind.")
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To: V_TWIN

The key qualification a woman looks for in a husband is his handyman skills.


51 posted on 08/08/2025 8:17:34 AM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they. control you. )
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To: Quality_Not_Quantity

52 posted on 08/08/2025 8:20:21 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (Democrats should have been barred from elections since The Battle Of Athens.)
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To: 1Old Pro

Not unless she has a sense of humor.


53 posted on 08/08/2025 8:21:13 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: aquila48

Not this woman. I wanted someone who wasn’t like Archie Bunker.


54 posted on 08/08/2025 8:23:01 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: V_TWIN

It’s like a cat when they hear the can-opener.


55 posted on 08/08/2025 8:23:26 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: V_TWIN

The Bee?

This is true.


56 posted on 08/08/2025 8:23:40 AM PDT by Scrambler Bob (Running Rampant, and not endorsing nonsense; My pronoun is EXIT. And I am generally full of /S)
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To: FamiliarFace
Not unless she has a sense of humor.

I'm thinking it would just spark her to thinking of new things to do ....immediately.

57 posted on 08/08/2025 8:24:40 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: Responsibility2nd

Whatever happened to “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan...and never never forget how to make you a man.”


58 posted on 08/08/2025 8:24:52 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Looks like your the minority on this thread my friend, a lot of people are having a good time with it.

-

Maybe you should just lighten up a little.


59 posted on 08/08/2025 8:37:20 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: V_TWIN


60 posted on 08/08/2025 9:00:39 AM PDT by norsky (<P><h3> <P><img src=" "width=500"<P><h3> <P> <a href= > </a> )
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