Hamas Agrees To Surrender If Europe Will Take Greta Thunberg Back

Babylon Bee ^

[FLT-bird]

GAZA — The tables were turned on the infamous terrorist organization today, with horrified Hamas agreeing to a full and unconditional surrender to Israel if Europe would agree to take Greta Thunberg back.

The well-known left-wing activist was said to be en route to Gaza by sea to make her presence felt in peace negotiations between the two warring sides, leaving Hamas scrambling to do whatever was necessary to stave off her arrival.

"Please, don't let this happen! We will do whatever it takes to keep her away," said Hamas spokesterrorist Abu Muhammed Zahir. "While we have a reputation for perpetrating violent and ruthless acts against our enemies, sending Greta Thunberg here is far beyond any definition of cruel and unusual punishment. We offer Israel our total surrender if Europe agrees to have this wretched harpy turn her ship around and go back to wherever she came from. Thank you, and death to Israel and America."

European officials declined to comment on the details of any negotiations with Hamas but did express strong reluctance to allow Thunberg to return to the continent. "No, that's not an option," said spokeseuropean Jürgen Bürgen. "We finally had the opportunity to get her on board a ship bound for international waters. It is our intent to prevent her from ever coming back. We got rid of her. We wish the residents of Gaza the best when Greta makes it to shore. May God be merciful."

[House Atreides]

The horror… the horror.

[PGalt]

How dare you Hamas!

[Sacajaweau]

LOL...

[eeriegeno]

Would be a terrible thing if Thrunberg got caught in crossfire there and ended casters-up! Terrible!!!

[SaveFerris]

[take Greta Thunberg Back]

Greta Thunberg is sooooo stupid. Hamas might just kill her with some weapon they captured from a dead IDF soldier. THEN, they'd claim ISRAEL killed her...

She has to be dumber than Democrat Adam Schiff or Democrat Jamie Raskin to walk into that war zone. She might just become cannon fodder for propaganda purposes. Leftist Idiot, she is. Along with her parents.

(from another time) The little Leftist Twit just can't make a good judgment call (likely her idiot parents are involved again with this one, too)

[alloysteel]

Well, Hamas DID send a drone out to herd her back toward the mid-part of the Mediterranean.

From what I saw of the video, she seemed to be genuinely in a state of real fear.

FO, FA

[SaveFerris]

[Would be a terrible thing if Thrunberg got caught in crossfire there and ended casters-up! Terrible!!!]

See post 6

[Sirius Lee]

Sometimes it’s best to just sit back and let Darwin win the day as an example to others.

[SaveFerris]

True. I’d just hate to see her used for such purposes.

Only because the world falls for just about everything used as propaganda against Israel.

[griswold3]

Somebody owes me a new keyboard. Bwahahaha

[cableguymn]

Nope. They can keep her.

[blackdog]

"Stay in your lane"

See, Thunberg, Greta.

[T.B. Yoits]

...And little girls from Sweden dream of silver-screen quotation
And if you want these kind of dreams, it's Californication

"Californication" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers (1999)

[woodbutcher1963]

Where is her HIJAB?

Stone the blasphemer

[SaveFerris]

LOLOLOL

[Eli Kopter]

I hope that Greta’s days as a paid socialists commentator are nearing a close. The world is getting tired of it with all of her BS.

[MayflowerMadam]

No need to even read the article; the title is PERFECT.

[healy61]

I wouldn’t mind seeing a Greta Corrie Pancake moment. LOL

[FlingWingFlyer]

LOL! We don’t want her either. She’s an obnoxious nuisance. An ugly one too. The U.S. Congress Teenaged, Cupie Doll, Jazzmammy Croquette modeled herself after The Thunderbutt.