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Colorado Rules Jews Must Bake Cake For Terrorist Who Lit Them On Fire
Babylon Bee ^ | June 3, 2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/03/2025 11:53:26 AM PDT by MeanWestTexan

BOULDER, CO — The controversy surrounding a horrific attack over the weekend continued today, as a Colorado court ruled that Jewish victims must bake a cake for the terrorist who lit them on fire.

The ruling, handed down early Monday morning after Sunday's terrorist attack in which a Muslim illegal alien from Egypt viciously burned Jewish people at a pro-Israel event, mandated that the badly burned victims of the attack bake their assailant a cake within the next 30 days or face consequences.

"Refusal to bake a cake for the man who burned them would be horribly prejudiced," said District Court Judge Helen Jurgens. "As has been well established here in Colorado, victims of injuries or persecution are obligated by law to cater to their attackers. Typically through cake-baking."

Several Jewish citizens were badly burned by Egyptian national Mohamed Sabry Soliman, who shouted "Free Palestine" after the attack, prompting the state court to issue the unsolicited emergency order to force the injured individuals to present the terrorist with a cake as soon as possible. "Failure to comply will result in further disciplinary action," Judge Jurgens continued. "The cake must be made personally by the victims and presented to the terrorist within the allotted time frame. It is the opinion of the court that the cake be something festive, yet tasteful. Chocolate with white frosting. With the Palestinian flag. And sprinkles."

At publishing time, the burned victims were reportedly facing additional charges for seeking to extinguish the flames that had engulfed them, thereby obstructing the terrorist's right to freely protest.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bee; boulder; colorado; hamas; hezbollah; iran; israel; mohamedsoliman; satire; yemen

1 posted on 06/03/2025 11:53:26 AM PDT by MeanWestTexan
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To: MeanWestTexan

2 posted on 06/03/2025 11:56:16 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: MeanWestTexan
Colorado Rules Jews Must Bake Cake For Terrorist Who Lit Them On Fire

Well, that'll teach 'em for living in Colorado, teaching fellow Jews to be Bakers, and Voting DemoRat.

3 posted on 06/03/2025 11:59:26 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won Popular & E.C., Celebrate Recivilization!)
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To: MeanWestTexan

I read the title, and just KNEW it had to be The Bee!!!!


4 posted on 06/03/2025 12:05:57 PM PDT by _Jim (Trump 2024 (We won!))
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To: _Jim

I was fooled for a moment, sadly.

Vaguely plausible.


5 posted on 06/03/2025 2:32:51 PM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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