Posted on 05/10/2025 4:25:57 AM PDT by Cowman
U.S. — Despite controversies surrounding tariffs and the defunding of dozens of large government departments, a new poll showed President Donald Trump's popularity skyrocketed after he announced the deportation of all cyclists.
The president made the historic announcement during an impromptu press briefing in the Oval Office, with even reporters who have normally been his most staunch critics applauding the eradication of all cyclists as a significant step forward for the country.
"This is the dawning of a better, brighter America," Trump told the media. "For far too long, we have suffered the effects of cyclists invading our great streets. Those days are now over. I have ordered the full might of the federal government to be directed toward the deportation of all cyclists. We have no choice. We must rid our country of these people. You ever get stuck behind one of them on the road? It's terrible."
Administration officials confirmed that thousands of cyclists had already been apprehended by law enforcement agencies across the country, with millions more expected to follow. "This is a president who keeps his promises," said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. "When he campaigned on making America great again, he was serious. Washing our cities clean of the plague of cyclists is a big part of that pledge."
At publishing time, minor controversy had arisen over the White House's official social media account posting a video of dozens of cyclists being forced to ride up the loading ramp of a C1-30 military aircraft bound for El Salvador.
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Thank you very much and God bless you.
BB got me on that one. Got me good.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
100% tariff on spandex. Now!
Bicycle extremists are a plague.
Another story of fat people dreams.
The problem will eventually resolve itself over time ...
Contrary to what we sometimes think, about 99% of all people are basically decent. Of course that drops to about 95% when dealing with just cyclists.
Not a bad idea. We live on a rural road that is on maps for cyclists. On days with decent weather there can be dozens of cyclists on many of the roads here. Most of them abide by the single file rule, but some are just assholes. The roads are barely wide enough for 2 cars and idiots ride their bikes 2 or more abreast. Beep the horn once or twice to let them know you’re coming, and they flip you the bird. Not much you can do other than run them off the road, but a friend had an excellent idea, he had a beater car with the old windshield wiper nozzles mounted on the hood that you could bend. He bent the one on the passenger side and would spray obnoxious cyclists that gave him a hard time. They would come to a sudden stop and the ones behind would crash into them.
I have believed for a long time that if bicycles are going to be used on public roads they should be subject to the same laws and regulations as powered vehicles including inspection and insurance requirements.... And we will have to bring back the tailpipe sniffer so they can get their emission inspection.
I'm not fat at all. Avid Mt. Biker and some Road (solo) never with a gaggle of buttsniffer gear queers taking up the entire lane.
A bigger bunch of entitled, lycra clad twatwaffles you'll never meet. Move the f--- over. Single line.
Next up can we go after packaging engineers or whoever makes everything very difficult to open and unpack?
Part of the reason I typically have a Spyderco Delica half-serrated knife clipped to my strong side front pants pocket. That and Amazon Prime.
No,vegan cafe’s are next. Then, people who allow their kids to run wild in stores. Bad packaging engineers are fourth on the list
Hitting a moving target can be a challenge.
There is a funny scene in "Curb Your Enthusiasm" where Larry is desperately trying to open a box cutter type knife from its packaging ... which he bought specifically to open difficult packaging.
lol, too damn funny...
First they came for the cyclists, but i didn’t say anything because I am not a cyclist. /s
Finally!
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