Posted on 04/15/2025 3:50:12 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
https://babylonbee.com/news/9-loopholes-to-help-you-avoid-paying-taxes
It's that time of year again when everyone lets the government steal from them in the form of "taxes." But what if there were some easy tricks to avoid paying taxes altogether?
The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of clever loopholes to get out of giving Uncle Sam any of your hard-earned money:
Get yourself deported to an El Salvadorian prison: This one's easier now than it's ever been. Just find your nearest Homeland Security office and tell them your name is Manuel and you're here illegally.
Claim all 15 million illegal aliens as your dependents: This is technically true.
Go fishing and hope Jesus repeats that whole coins-in-the-fish's-mouth thing for you: He did it once, and He can do it again.
Declare yourself a sovereign state and just stop paying: This works out well for everyone who does it.
Write off all the times you rounded up your Taco Bell order to the nearest dollar to help children in need: You knew all that generosity would pay off eventually.
Draw a little Cybertruck on your tax return form and write "I Heart Elon": Automatic exemption.
Count your time working as a church greeter as part of your tithe: By reporting it as being at $1,000/hour, all those awkward hellos and handshakes will finally be worth it.
Do not, under any circumstances, make any money, ever: You can't pay taxes on income you don't have.
Die: Just kidding, your family will still end up paying the taxes you owed. Nice try, though.
It may seem far-fetched, but eliminating your tax bill really is just that easy. Try it today.
You Wish This Was Satire, But It's Not:
The Gov't Just Claimed: Your Money Isn't Yours…
You're reading this and thinking, "This can't be real." And yet, here we are. The Department of...
(Excerpt) Read more at x.com ...
10. Say “Oops, Turbo Tax messed up my filing form “, then apologize when caught
Disclaimer: This tactic only works if your name is Timmy Geitner.
Get a job at the IRS.
They forgot the Earned Income Tax Credit.
Steve Martin: “I forgot.”
“ Declare yourself a sovereign state and just stop paying: This works out well for everyone who does it.”
I identify as South Carolina.
10. Say you are over 125 years old and therefore have a grandfathered exception.
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