Posted on 01/27/2025 6:40:40 AM PST by SeekAndFind
These complimentary terms are often used interchangeably, but they carry distinct meanings. Knowing the difference can help you choose your words more thoughtfully.
The old adage “cruel to be kind” might sound catchy, but the saying probably should be “cruel to be nice.” Both “kind” and “nice,” by definition, are positive traits, but “nice” often reflects a surface-level politeness motivated by social conformity. Think of holding a door open for someone — it’s a courteous gesture, but the motivation isn’t necessarily rooted in goodwill. You might be thinking, “Hurry up,” while the person walks to the door — so is this actually a sincere act if you’re slightly annoyed by it? There are a few usages of “nice,” but the one we’re talking about means “pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory.”
This definition reveals surface-level intentions of being polite and doing what is needed to maintain the status quo — traits often motivated by societal expectations. By contrast, “kind” means “having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.” It describes an innate sense of being.
For example, an act of politeness, such as helping someone who dropped their groceries, might be considered nice, but kindness is more consistent and entails a heartfelt willingness to help over time. In essence, to be nice is an action, while “kind” describes a lasting personality trait.
Looking into the etymology further clarifies this divergence. “Kind” comes from the Old English cynde , meaning “natural” or “innate,” often linked to familial warmth. “Nice,” however, evolved from the Latin nescius (meaning “ignorant”), once used to describe qualities such as carelessness or foolishness before it transformed into its current meaning of “pleasant” by the mid-18th century.
Rest assured, both terms are complimentary today. However, “kind” implies a more genuine nature related to personality, while “nice” often describes polite actions fueled by social obligations, whether authentic or not. These terms can overlap but are not entirely synonymous, so recognizing these nuances can help you be more accurate in your descriptions.
It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice...............
You have to be cruel to be kind.
But it’s not nice to be cruel.
Guess this explains why it’s “Minnesota Nice” and not “Minnesota Kind.”
"Cruel To Be Kind" - Nick Lowe
Kind > Nice > Courteous > Polite
“Nice” can be faked. “Kind” cannot.
I don't really agree with that. To me, "nice" is a description of demeanor rather than actions. Someone can be very nice while screwing you over. On the flip side, a gruff, grumpy person can still be kind by their actions.
Ethicists at Santa Clara University agree: “The distinguishing factor seems to lie in the motivation of a person or act.”
punishment and love can look the same.
when you tell a homersexual, it is a sinful behavior, not an identity, are you loving him or punishing him?
"Nice guys finish last."--Leo Durocher
Yes...she seems nice vs she seems kind. Seems kind needs to be verified with an action.
People can appear nice just because they are passive and quiet, or well bred/raised, but to me being nice means doing, it is what you do.
Many males who aren’t thought of as nice are actually quite kind, its just that they perform those kindnesses with the quick, gruff, efficiency of someone who just wants to help you and not fuss over it, they will jump out of their car in the rain to push your stalled car out of an intersection because they can see that you need the help and then they take off without any polite banter and niceties, a personality type not thought of as nice, but with a heart of gold.
Q: What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care...
Sorry to make everything political, but I’ve seen this distinction pushed elsewhere recently. Other than the fact that it seems to be quibbling over semantics, I think there’s an agenda, as in: ‘conservatives may be “nice,” but they don’t believe the correct things, so they’re horrible. We progressives, on the other hand, may act in objectively awful ways, but our hearts are in the right place, so we’re “kind,” which is better than “nice.”’
I think of a customer being nice, a nurse being kind.
Socialism is just Communism with a Smiley Face...............
People who are kind to the cruel will be cruel to the kind.
Exactly.
distinctly remember the day I was being nice AND kind when opening a crowded department store door for a nicely dressed woman around 20 or so. as she brushed past me with a very unfriendly “excuse me” instead of a thank you, I was completely taken aback. what I did in return wasn’t nice or kind but it WAS funny! she was about 3 or 4 steps into this very crowded store as I loudly said “did you fart?” heads turned but she didn’t. she did pick up the pace though. so sorry but I just couldn’t help the remark. am I a bad person?
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