Posted on 12/14/2024 10:11:10 AM PST by Navy Patriot
LUXEMBOURG — According to eyewitnesses at the Grand Duke's palace, Nancy Pelosi was rushed to the hospital earlier today after her blood alcohol level plunged dangerously.
Sources say that the Democrat representative is now in stable condition, having downed several vodka tonics and three glasses of wine since the incident.
"We almost lost her," said Dr. Johann Warstein, who has been caring for Pelosi since she was hospitalized earlier today. "Ms. Pelosi skipped her usual four morning screwdrivers, then accidentally drank too much water over lunch. Her blood alcohol levels, normally around 50%, plunged to almost legal levels. If not for the quick actions of our emergency personnel to get a fifth of vodka in her bloodstream, we may be having a different conversation. It was touch and go."
Condolences and caskets of alcohol have poured into the Luxembourg hospital where Pelosi is staying overnight, in a heartwarming effort to keep Pelosi safely sloshed. Initial reports note that the doctors have graciously tried some of the gifts themselves so that they can make sure the alcohol content is high enough for Rep. Pelosi.
At publishing time, doctors had outfitted Pelosi with one of those beer hats to ensure she always had a steady supply of alcohol at the ready.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
“..Nancy Pelosi is getting treatment in Luxembourg!...”
Euthanasia is perfectly legal there....just sayin’.
Maybe Kamala can give her a blood transfusion.
That is easy to fix. Just bring her another bottle of Jack Daniels.
Has her husband left his gay boy toy to rush to Nancy’s side?
Didn’t they recently legalize the distillation of absinthe?
These guys are geniuses! Pelosi’s aides should always have some vodka on hand to rub on her gums when she has these hypoalcoholemic events.
Funny and appropriate.
Ya just can’t make this stuff up.
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/sarc
The conjugal visits at the prison shall not be modified.she’ll have to wait.
This is why CNN lost all their ratings, they are getting scooped on the biggest stories of the year by small time reporting agencies...like the Babylon Bee and The Onion.
“Ketel One protocol stat!”
Nope. Boys week to stay at home and get hammered!
😀😀
All I know is that when I went to school in Italy when I was young, I was TERRIFIED of the marble stairs. I knew if I fell, it was over. There is nothing to stop you from going down the entire stairs on stone and that I would break multiple bones.
I am pretty sure they are not letting on how bad she really is.
This whole falling down the stairs story is a complete fabrication and falsehood. She didn’t fall down the stairs but she is in the hospital...we call it rehab. She’s a drunken mess and needs help now.
Near miss! I’d just taken a drink when I read the subject line!
Obviously my timing needs improvement.
By a buck tooth girl?
Bother were caused by being hammered?
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