Are You Old? Know The Signs

Babylon Bee ^ | December 11, 2024 | Staff

[Twotone]

As one generation gives way to the next, you may find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering, "Hey, am I old now?"

Here are 15 signs that you are, in fact, old:

1. You saw this article scrolling Facebook: Dead giveaway.

2. You have something in your wallet called "cash": Okay, boomer.

3. You take a minute to plan your approach before picking something up off the floor: Can't be too hasty.

4. You whisper secrets so Alexa doesn't hear you: You know they're listening!

5. You experience the sudden urge to put on a Steely Dan CD: Plus, you own CDs.

6. You have car glasses, reading glasses, work glasses, TV glasses, and regular glasses: None of which you can locate.

7. Your orthopedist named his boat after you: Subtle, but a sure sign.

8. You just checked the clock to see when you can take ibuprofen again: Nope, it's only been 13 minutes.

9. You tape little pieces of paper over your computer's camera so the hackers can't see you: Smart.

10. You think Babylon Bee headlines are real news: A classic symptom of oldness.

11. You sign all of your texts 'Love, Dad': And you think LOL means 'Lots of Love.'

12. Reeeeeee!!: Oh, that's just your tinnitus flaring up again.

13. You're on an Alaskan cruise: They're like a siren song to the old.

14. You were born in the 1930s: Pretty straightforward.

15. You got elected to Congress: Oof.

How many boxes did you check there, old-timer?

[Nervous Tick]

>> Doesn’t that depend on where you go when you go?

You betcha! I know Whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day!

And, as per the old cliche: I’m READY to go... but (at this moment in time, anyway) I’m not rarin’ to go. :-)

[Nervous Tick]

>> Around 1972, I had an $8.00 ticket to a Who concert...

Yup, you’re old... LOL!

[Bullish]

I checked none of them... But I’m still pretty old.

[dennisw]

Never use your phone for the internet? You are old.

[equaviator]

16: Can’t relate to Labor Day like I used to.

[mabarker1]

Only 2 !?!?!?

Are You trying to “blend” ?🤪

[fredhead]

My wife and I have begun to sing, over and over, the first line of the Rolling Stones song “Mother’s Little Helper:”

“What a drag it is getting old.”

[Sirius Lee]

Well, I have cash in my wallet, and I own and listen to CDs

Same. Prefer to have physical ownership of the medium. DVDs as well. Some music has gone out of circulation and is not available via streaming, so...

[Carriage Hill]

2’s all so far, but I am edging toward 3.

What’s “blend” ?

[bert]

It was Clint that taught us.......”Don’t let the old man in”

Words to live by

[null and void]

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but not right now.

[mabarker1]

Blend into a nearby group agewise. (Boomer/Millinial)The Greatest Generation, etc.)

[Churchillspirit]

6...but I really am old!

[metmom]

Same. Prefer to have physical ownership of the medium. DVDs as well. Some music has gone out of circulation and is not available via streaming, so...

Yup. For all who tell us to just depend on streaming, you're really at the mercy of the providers and 1) whether they have it or not, and 2) whether it's been corrupted by the woke tyrants.

[Carriage Hill]

With 1949 BD, I’m a Boomer and hardcore at that.

[mabarker1]

1961, I got here as fast as I could 🤪

[Carriage Hill]

Heh, I have socks older than you...

[mabarker1]

I’ll bet that I smell better than they do.🤪

[Carriage Hill]

The cat agrees with you:

[MomwithHope]

Only 1, cash in my wallet.