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San Francisco Parents Find Piece Of Candy In Child’s Bucket Of Needles
The Bee ^ | Oct 31, 2024 | The Bee

Posted on 11/01/2024 9:46:04 AM PDT by dayglored

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — A pair of local parents were in for a shock Halloween night after discovering a stray piece of candy in their child's bag of needles.

According to Jim and Grace Kohler, the candy was not discovered until late Halloween night, after their son Ben had gotten home and was sorting through his haul of used hypodermic needles and shattered crack pipes.

"He dumped it all out on the kitchen table and we were just sort of poking through it all," Jim recalls. "Then I caught a glimpse of a brown, red, and blue wrapper through the forest of used hypodermics — a Snickers. My heart just dropped. What kind of a psychopath would hand out this sugar-filled garbage to children? And how in the world are we supposed to dispose of it?"

The Kohlers reportedly called 911 for advice on how to dispose of the dangerous biohazard and later turned it in to their local police station, which has launched an investigation to see if any other children have been exposed.

At publishing time, the Kohlers had been shocked to learn the person who handed out the candy bars hadn't even been dressed as a drag queen.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; california; candy; needles; sanfrancisco; satire
The Bee is back to publishing real news, I see.
1 posted on 11/01/2024 9:46:04 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored

They crossed that line over a year ago. Probably almost 4 to be exact.


2 posted on 11/01/2024 9:48:29 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: dayglored

Save the razor blades. Some people use them for shaving.


3 posted on 11/01/2024 9:48:32 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: dayglored; AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; ...

LOLOLOLOL!!!

Ooops, I mean, sad but true.


4 posted on 11/01/2024 9:49:37 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
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To: dayglored

It was a full sugar candy with colored dyes and not at all organic, and with wasteful wrapping.


5 posted on 11/01/2024 10:01:25 AM PDT by ansel12 ((NATO warrior under Reagan, and RA under Nixon, bemoaning the pro-Russians from Vietnam to Ukraine.))
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To: dayglored

I realize it’s satire but in reality what parent in their right mind would let their kid eat candy received from strangers in that city?

And I don’t care if it was factory sealed or not.....I’d just take the kid to Walmart and let ‘em pick out what they wanted.

OBTW, off topic but the best Halloween treat I ever got was homemade fresh chocolate cupcakes.....the lady made us stand on her porch and eat ‘em.....I’ll remember that for the rest of my days.....it was awesome to be a preteen in the 60s.


6 posted on 11/01/2024 10:10:50 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: dayglored

Parents?? That’s a myth... There’s no parents anymore in San Francisco.


7 posted on 11/01/2024 10:14:55 AM PDT by Bullish (Socialism is a weed that blooms into communism, the tyranny that strangles liberty.)
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To: V_TWIN
> I realize it’s satire but in reality what parent in their right mind would let their kid eat candy received from strangers in that city? And I don’t care if it was factory sealed or not..

That's true of any city these days. I live in a semi-rural residential area that is overall pretty safe, but even so, I wouldn't take chances.

Moreover, I've stopped giving out stuff for Trick-or-Treat. Let it be known that whatever a kid might bring home, he/she didn't get it from my house, so if it turns out bad, it wasn't from me. That feels like crap, but it removes a non-zero risk.

It's a hell of a thing we've turned into.

8 posted on 11/01/2024 10:26:30 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: Billthedrill

I once bought a bag of razor blades and there was a Baby Ruth bar inside it.


9 posted on 11/01/2024 10:34:56 AM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: dayglored

For me, my faith now suggests that halloween is something best left alone.

What I see a lot of nowadays anyway is its just one more excuse for the adults to drink alcohol.

Case in point, one Halloween a pick-up parked in front of our house, let the kids out of the truck bed and all the parents stayed behind drinking beer......not much of a parenting example IMO.


10 posted on 11/01/2024 10:40:59 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: V_TWIN

Like the man said, Everything the Left touches turns to... poo.


11 posted on 11/01/2024 10:52:57 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

I haven’t participated in Halloween in years. First, nobody comes. Nobody. Not my favorite holiday. Liability. Who knows where somebody will say that candy came from and it can be tampered with after it leaves your house. What a world we have now, eh? All the kids I know go to the malls. I wonder how long that will last until some maniac makes that unsafe one way or another. Oh wait .....


12 posted on 11/01/2024 12:29:41 PM PDT by Whatever Works (The real power lies in who counts the votes and controls the teleprompter.)
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To: dayglored; Liz

According to Jim and Grace Kohler, the candy was not discovered until late Halloween night, after their son Ben had gotten home and was sorting through his haul of used hypodermic needles and shattered crack pipes.

ping a ling...

13 posted on 11/01/2024 12:33:39 PM PDT by GOPJ (Democrat fraud: They vote the people who don't show up to vote. Everything else is red herring...)
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To: V_TWIN

I was thinking it would have been cool to drive into a neighborhood in a M113 and drop the back ramp to let them out.


14 posted on 11/01/2024 12:57:06 PM PDT by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy - EVs a solution for which there is no problem)
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