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A 90 year old man tells his Rabbi that he is going to marry a teenage woman

Posted on 10/29/2024 8:43:35 AM PDT by Zhang Fei

A 90 year old man tells his Rabbi that he is going to marry a teenage woman.

“Well it’s good not to be alone. But you know a person has needs that must be fulfilled. And you want a happy home.

So let me suggest something. You should hire a gardener.”

Ahah, Rabbi , the think I understand. You are very wise.

6 months later they cross paths.

“How are you? How is married life?”

“Wonderful! And Rabbi, my wife is pregnant!”

The rabbi strokes his chin, “And how is the gardener?”

“Wonderful! She’s pregnant too! “


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: frdegenerates; lol; lolol; lololol; lolololol; lololololol; lolololololol; lololololololol; lolololololololol; lololololololololol
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1 posted on 10/29/2024 8:43:35 AM PDT by Zhang Fei
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To: Zhang Fei

ROFL!!!!!

Thanks, we need MORE of these thoughout the day...like 8 or 9 :)


2 posted on 10/29/2024 8:46:35 AM PDT by dp0622 (Tried a coup, a fake tax story, tramp slander, Russia nonsense, impeachment and a virus. They lost.)
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To: Zhang Fei

Ba Dum Tish!


3 posted on 10/29/2024 8:46:53 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Zhang Fei

Literally LOL.


4 posted on 10/29/2024 8:47:12 AM PDT by untenured
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To: Zhang Fei

LOL. Good one.

Was the 90 year old man named Emhoff or Schwarzenegger?


5 posted on 10/29/2024 8:47:34 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“President Trump sells out Madison Square Garden -- Kamala sells out America”)
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To: Zhang Fei

And all three are voting for Trump...


6 posted on 10/29/2024 8:48:20 AM PDT by Fido969
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To: Fido969

If they have the time lol


7 posted on 10/29/2024 8:51:07 AM PDT by dp0622 (Tried a coup, a fake tax story, tramp slander, Russia nonsense, impeachment and a virus. They lost.)
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To: Zhang Fei

He’s a real live wire!


8 posted on 10/29/2024 8:54:55 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: dp0622

Did you hear about the married couple that went to see a marriage therapist? The therapist asked the lady, “Why did you want to meet today”? the wife said, “My husband takes everything I say literally”. The therapist looks at the husband and says, “What brought you in today?” He says, “A car”.


9 posted on 10/29/2024 8:57:40 AM PDT by Jolla
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To: Zhang Fei
A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he finds a lamp in the sand. He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish. He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that's my wish."

The genie looks concerned, then says "No, I'm sorry, that's just not possible. Some things just can't be changed. Do you have another wish?"

The guys says 'Well...for my whole life I've never received oral sex from my wife. That would be my wish." The genie pauses for another moment and then says "How would you define peace?"

10 posted on 10/29/2024 8:59:41 AM PDT by FatherofFive (we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor)
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To: Zhang Fei

Hope springs eternal!.....................


11 posted on 10/29/2024 9:02:36 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegals are put up in 5 Star hotels....................)
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To: dp0622

12 posted on 10/29/2024 9:15:26 AM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: Zhang Fei

LOL


13 posted on 10/29/2024 9:16:07 AM PDT by GOPJ (Democrat fraud: They vote the people who don't show up to vote. Everything else is red herring...)
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To: Zhang Fei

A Jewish grandma was walking along the beach with her toddler grandson, when a huge wave crashed up and swept the child out into the ocean. The frantic grandma prayed and prayed and cried out to God. Then, suddenly, another wave came in and deposited the wee boy onto the beach, unharmed.

The grandma looks to the heavens, and says, “Thank you so much, God, but, he WAS wearing a hat.”


14 posted on 10/29/2024 9:25:03 AM PDT by JudyinCanada
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To: Zhang Fei
A 70-year-old man walks into confession and says, "Forgive me, Father, I sinned. I spent the night with two gorgeous 20-year-olds."

The priest says, "Oh my... How long has it been since your last confession?"

The man laughs, "Confession? I'm Jewish!"

The priest, bewildered, asks, "Then why are you telling me?"

The man grins, "Are you kidding? I’m telling everyone!"
15 posted on 10/29/2024 9:25:41 AM PDT by Retrofitted
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To: Zhang Fei

A 90 year old man tells his Rabbi that he is going to marry a teenage woman.

Rabbi says, “Aren’t you worried about dying during sex?”

90 year old man shrugs and replies, “If she dies, she dies”..........


16 posted on 10/29/2024 9:26:33 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegals are put up in 5 Star hotels....................)
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To: FatherofFive

[A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he finds a lamp in the sand. He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish. He says, “Peace in the Middle east, that’s my wish.”
The genie looks concerned, then says “No, I’m sorry, that’s just not possible. Some things just can’t be changed. Do you have another wish?”

The guys says ‘Well...for my whole life I’ve never received oral sex from my wife. That would be my wish.” The genie pauses for another moment and then says “How would you define peace?”]


ROFL.


17 posted on 10/29/2024 9:27:24 AM PDT by Zhang Fei (My dad had a Delta 88. That was a car. It was like driving your living room)
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To: Zhang Fei

Jacob was in his 80’s when he married Rachel and Leah.

He still fathered the 12 tribes.


18 posted on 10/29/2024 9:38:25 AM PDT by lurk (u)
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To: Zhang Fei

Or the 90 year old in the same situation, about to marry a teenage woman. His doctor told him he really needed to be careful during sex because heart failure as an option.

“Well Doc, if she dies, she dies...”


19 posted on 10/29/2024 9:50:24 AM PDT by DesertRhino (2016 Star Wars, 2020 The Empire Strikes Back, 2024... RETURN OF THE JEDI..)
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To: Zhang Fei

Good luck to
Him.


20 posted on 10/29/2024 9:53:17 AM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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