Posted on 10/27/2024 2:12:23 PM PDT by Az Joe
Is this Millennial generation out of their minds or what?!
I have tried hard to do my best, I've been generous. My son married a paranoid narcissist woman who suffered from pretty bad childhood abuse. Father ran out on her, stepfathers/mother's boyfriends abused her. She left home at 16 to escape it. I have offered to pay for her to get therapy.
Please be gentle, I'm doing all I can to help my grandchildren, and I worry about their mental health
What you can’t somehow cope with you endure. You will kill your soul trying to fix this lost cause. Quitting is hard, waking away is worse but at some point that is what must be done to save yourself. Leave the door open but save yourself and walk away.
I hope things turn out OK for you. I/we have been having a bad week or so because of family problems. It happens to a lot of us. Hang in there.
I am so sorry. My wife and I went through that almost 20 years ago. Thie DIL finally settled down, but we have never been really close, although they live nearby. Families are under attack from all directions, but particularly spiritual.
Prayers for your family!
Yes, it’s that generation. Reddit is filled with posts about going “no contact” with in-laws, relatives, etc. It is encouraged there.
I would just pray every day for reconciliation and for your son/dil/grandkids. God can move mountains!
no solutions but I’ll pray for your situation
That’s hell. Nothing more cruel than keeping Grandkids away from Grandparents. And it’s way more common than people think. It’s also kids doing it. It’s petty and cruel. An article I was reading said it affects about half of grandparents to one degree or another. If not an outright refusal to allow a relationship, they often severely restrict contact with them there watching and kibitzing.
The days of Grandpa taking a grandkid fishing, or the kid stay a week with them are not in the cards for around half of grandparents.
I don’t have a clue how to fix it, but you aren’t alone and it’s not your fault.
Some times parents do it for very good reasons.
I learned from my parents that I offer no advice to my adult kids, unless they ask for it. I help when I can. I respect their decisions. I love my grandkids. In short, unlike just about all other places in my life, I keep my mouth shut and focus on giving love.
Our grandkids still loving coming to our home. My kids ask for advice on some things. We rarely talk politics.
I’ve seen parents get involved in their kids lives to a degree where they become estranged. They are adults. But they are people too. And I am not going to prevent them from making wrong decisions by sticking my nose in their business.
They are not as precious as grandkids but I lost some best friends forever to wives.
I should have ST#U when they mentioned aborting kids if they are found in the womb to have an illness.
OR my friends should have had some courage.
You can speak to your son, not yell, try to make him understand how much the grandkids mean to you.
That’s all you can do bro.
I hope it works out
Sorry to hear. You're probably right about Millenials.
Apparently, Gen Z is a little bit better. More of them are taking the "red pill" nowadays. They're realizing that America is a matriachy and they're standing up themselves.
But many Millenials grew up on the nonstop propaganda that men are morons. Women can do no wrong. Just take a look at our TV shows. Homer Simpson is a perfect example of where the father is a doofus.
Rarely. In general it’s revenge and bitterness for what they think the GP did when they were younger. I know of one case where it was spite over the dad remarrying a very nice person.
For every molester or addict, there are 100 control freak parents who are getting revenge or acting out slights form their childhood.
And a clue they don’t get, when a parent makes mistakes with a kid at age 30, that doesn’t mean they are a danger at age 65. People change, introspection happens, situations get resolved.
The buzzword the modern parents is “unsafe”. They use it when there isn’t the slightest actual danger. And it’s the vast majority of grandparent alienation going on out there.
Most of it is kids angry about a divorce when they were 10, or dad drinks a beer and lives in a less nice neighborhood, or a difference in church habits. But they situation is not actually “unsafe”.
It’s extremely cruel.
“Yes, it’s that generation. Reddit is filled with posts about going “no contact” with in-laws, relatives, etc. It is encouraged there.”
This is VERY true. Look at anywhere they frequent online and all the talk is about “you now have power over them”, “nobody can make you...”, “they should have thought about this when they divorced your mom”, etc.
It’s a cold attitude that is widespread in this generation.
Sounds tough. Good luck and God bless.
I figure it’s just a matter of time before she files for divorce and takes your son to the cleaner. Depending on how custody is decided, you may get access to your grandchildren after that. Best of luck.
And, on a more general note — people in the dating market should simply never date people whose parents went through a divorce — “Father ran out on her, stepfathers/mother’s boyfriends abused her.” That is a red flag the size of Texas, 99% of the time. People who come from that sort of situation see marriage as a short-term deal with a primary object of scoring bucks from a simp.
You could buy your son a shovel and a box set of Discovery ID Titled “Married to Evil”
We’ve been there done that. One must just move on. I know it’s difficult, but if it is a situation you have no control or say in, then moving on is likely the best.
My sister put up with this too, and just moved on. After 20 years her daughter got back together with Sis and now they are all happy.
I remember one article on FR about a granddad complaining how he was mostly excluded from his daughter's life and when you read it a bit more he admitted he was "disappointed" because she had gotten pregnant as a 18 year old and then rather then getting an abortion had the absolute gall to marry her boyfriend and have more babies.
How could she, after all he had done to make her a "strong independent wymyn" become just a wife and mother? He had even offered to pay for the abortion and has told her that anytime she wants to leave her husband he will pay for the lawyer.
Every generation has their kooks that you really do not want your children around. Some of them managed to reproduce.
All three of my kids married people whose parents have been divorced multiple times. All three kids are in strong marriages with mentally stable spouses. I guess we all got lucky. All 7 grandkids are wonderful too
When did you last see the grandkids?
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