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7 Better Uses Of Your Time Than Watching The Debate (Wish I had read this last night)
Babylon Bee ^ | Sep 10, 2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/11/2024 8:32:30 AM PDT by dayglored

Brace yourselves — debate night is upon us! For some, a presidential debate is an exciting, can't-miss event. For others, gargling battery acid sounds more appealing. Regardless of which category you're in, making the best use of your time is important.

With that in mind, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following helpful list of better uses of your time than watching tonight's presidential debate:

  1. Repeatedly jamming a fireplace poker into your eyes: This will consume some time and prevent you from ever seeing Kamala's laugh face again.

  2. Starting an argument with your wife: This will also keep you occupied through Election Day.

  3. Pulling all the lint from under your couch cushions and sculpting a bust of C.S. Lewis: It'll take a lot of lint, but think of the conversation starter it will be once that statue of Clive Staples Lewis is on your mantle.

  4. Smacking your knee with a ball peen hammer for 90 minutes straight: Objectively less painful than hearing Kamala Harris speak.

  5. Asking the Haitian migrant on the street corner what's for dinner: It's important to always try new forms of cuisine.

  6. Taking last year's Christmas lights down: You'll need to have them taken down so you can start putting them up in a couple of months.

  7. Watching a baseball game: No, seriously. That's what you should do.

Any one of the activities above will be a far more productive use of your time than watching the debate, and some of them may just change your life forever.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; debate; satire; wasteoftime
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So NOW the Bee tells me...! sigh
1 posted on 09/11/2024 8:32:30 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored

They’re right again, as usual.


2 posted on 09/11/2024 8:43:20 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: metmom
>> Smacking your knee with a ball peen hammer for 90 minutes straight

> They’re right again, as usual.

I started to watch it, but after only 10 minutes I had to bail, and so I spent the remaining 80 minutes smacking my knee with a ball peen hammer. Much less painful.

3 posted on 09/11/2024 8:48:32 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

I enjoyed a new computer war game I just bought the night before. Didn’t waste a second watching the “debate.”


4 posted on 09/11/2024 8:53:43 AM PDT by Skooz (Gabba Gabba accept you we accept you one of us Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us )
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To: dayglored

We watched “Field of Dreams” that had James Earl Jones featured in it. Better use of our time.


5 posted on 09/11/2024 8:54:06 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: dayglored

I keep saying that the staff at the Bee are totally insane! Please, please, please, Bee! Stay that way!
ROFL


6 posted on 09/11/2024 8:56:49 AM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (We are very sorry, Mr. Franklin. We were not able to keep it! ;-()
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To: dayglored
My wife and I watched old "Battle of the Network Stars" episodes.

Notes: Howard Cosell said stuff that would get anyone fired, Robert Conrad took the competition way too serious, and the dunk tank ruled.

7 posted on 09/11/2024 8:57:59 AM PDT by BookmanTheJanitor
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To: metmom

I was happy leaving the debate early - this election has proven anything but a fair election....it’s not a election at all it’s another coup in motion. First they stole an election from Trump then from Biden - and they’ve set Harris up to be their place holder so they can retain their power in the current coup.


8 posted on 09/11/2024 9:01:01 AM PDT by caww (O death, when you seized my Lord, you lost your grip on me......)
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To: spel_grammer_an_punct_polise

Actually, they might be the only ones who ARE sane.

Because in an insane world, sanity would look like insanity.

The Bee ROCKS!!!!


9 posted on 09/11/2024 9:05:11 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: caww

Concur.


10 posted on 09/11/2024 9:06:00 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: dayglored

I cleaned the litter box and then watched a wall of paint dry to a fine finish...very satisfying.


11 posted on 09/11/2024 9:10:37 AM PDT by The Louiswu (Pray for Peace in the world.)
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To: dayglored

I watched an old movie “Marty” on Tubi. I already know who I am voting for and it ain’t the Indian.


12 posted on 09/11/2024 9:10:38 AM PDT by wetgundog
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To: metmom

;-)


13 posted on 09/11/2024 9:17:42 AM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (We are very sorry, Mr. Franklin. We were not able to keep it! ;-()
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To: dayglored

I fixed a supper of fried chicken filets, instant mashed potatoes, green beans, a couple dinner rolls and my husband and I Thankfully feasted. We then watched The Secret Life of Pets and retired.

I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. I may watch it again. That cat is so doggone funny and since I have five rescues I can relate to all the things a cat can get into or freak out about.

But I have the one who is the tiniest but the toughest one of the bunch (Bella), she I rescued from under an abandoned car in 100+ degree heat a few years back. Tiny, tiny little dumped kitten.

She will paw-smack the other three and just lay there when I run the vacuum cleaner right past her. She plays in the water dish and loves to jump into the towel cabinet. She thinks it’s a riot.

She’s such a little Blessing. I’m so glad I was right there at the right time to help her. She never would have survived.


14 posted on 09/11/2024 9:22:12 AM PDT by Patriot777 ("When you see these things begin to happen, look up, for your redemption draweth nigh.")
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To: dayglored

If I wanted to torment myself, I could re-watch the “debate” and find 25 more lies. But the thought of seeing and hearing her again makes me sick.


15 posted on 09/11/2024 9:27:01 AM PDT by SunStar (Democrats piss me off!)
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To: dayglored
25 Lies Kamala Harris Told In Her Debate Against Trump
https://thefederalist.com/2024/09/11/25-lies-kamala-harris-told-in-her-debate-against-trump/
16 posted on 09/11/2024 9:27:55 AM PDT by SunStar (Democrats piss me off!)
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To: dayglored

And once you stopped smacking yourself with the hammer you felt better, didn’t you?


17 posted on 09/11/2024 9:27:57 AM PDT by redfreedom (May God save us from what the Democrats do in the name of good.)
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To: dayglored

I decided to read “the Battle of Waterloo: The French Perspective” by Andrew W. Field last night instead of watching the debate. I figured I’d listen to Rush today and get his take if anything was worth knowing. unfortunately Rush’s show had Megyn Kelly as his guest host and she did a very worthy job of filling in for him.

Her commentary is at: https://thelibertydaily.com/megyn-kellys-fiery-reaction-debate-moderators-is-must/ Definitely worth the 5 minutes to listen/watch.


18 posted on 09/11/2024 9:33:31 AM PDT by GreyFriar (Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
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To: dayglored

19 posted on 09/11/2024 9:49:23 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: dayglored
Starting an argument with my wife would be hazardous to my health.
My wife is a feisty red head and has Erwin Rommel as an ancestor.
20 posted on 09/11/2024 10:12:31 AM PDT by jmacusa (Liberals. Too stupid to be idiots.)
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