Posted on 08/09/2024 9:17:31 AM PDT by RoosterRedux
Walz's military record speaks for itself. Here are just a few of his harrowing tales of valor:
1. "So there I was in France, out-gunned and near death. My Thompson submachine gun had just run out of ammo and I knew I was about to die, so I accepted my fate and just started shooting at an approaching tank with a pistol, but then the Army Air Corps bombed the tank just in time. Then, I held Private Ryan close and said: ‘Earn this.'"
2. "In another battle, my helicopter was shot down over a war zone in some place overseas with a lot of brown people. I looked at my squad mates square in the face and said, ‘Well, boys, looks like we got a Black Hawk down.' Everyone said ‘Hooah! Rangers lead the way!' And then we killed all the bad guys."
3. "U.S. politicians were being held hostage in Guatemala, so I went down there with a ragtag group of mercenaries to rescue them. But just as we were ready to head home, an alien with cloaking technology attacked, and it made clicking sounds, and one guy told me I was bleeding. I said, ‘I ain't got time to bleed.' Everyone clapped."
...
5. "In Pennsylvania, we fought uphill even though General Lee explicitly told us not to. "Never fight uphill, me boys!" Lee said. But I turned around, defiant, and said, ‘The enemy's gate is down.' Everyone cheered."
6. "In my youth, I once attacked a bug planet and was the only Starship Trooper who survived, and we soldiers took naked showers together, and also I had super mind powers."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
He was Brian Williams squad mate when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor
8. “I heroically held off the Persians at the pass of Thermopylae with just 300 Spartans. We were all naked too, just like Pride Month. In the end, it didn’t pan out. But I died a hero’s death and became a legend.”
LOL!!!!!
Where’s the part where the tampons saved the day and all of humanity.
What a guy! He was at Omaha Beach, too, at least until the tourist bus left.
The Bee is definitely on a roll!
Well, pretty impressive. I’d give a pretty penny to sit in a bar and listen to two drunken bullsh!tters try to top each other. Those two would be Biden and Walz, of course. I could learn how to bs really well, and become rich and famous too.
I heard Biden shot down Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen aka “The Red Barron”. Yeah, it was over Italy and then he jumped out of his parachute and landed at a nice cafe and had some espresso and biscotti.
He was at Omaha Beach all right.
He took the 5 hour bus ride from Minneapolis to Omaha ready for battle.
Commander McBragg redux.
He was probably their mentor. The big kabloona of bs.
Sorry. Different lying democrat.
Next thing ya know, Walz will be telling us about his “Lucky”
hat...
Joke from another site:
Q. Why do Democrats pay less for power than everyone else?
A. They use gaslighting.
Tim Walz is a target rich target.
But the real question is : Will the Democrats change horses (🐎🍆) in the middle of the stream?
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