Posted on 07/01/2024 1:10:21 PM PDT by mykroar
U.S. — Despite a significant majority of the nation now believing President Biden mentally unfit for office, the Democratic Party has decided to stay with Biden as its nominee as it would be a huge pain to reprint the tens of thousands of ballots they already filled out.
"On one hand, the nation now knows Biden is incapable of thinking and is a clear and present danger to himself and the country," said DNC chair Jaime Harrison. "On the other hand, it would be SUCH a pain to have to reprint all those ballots when we already filled them all out. It's so tedious! Aw, screw it... let's just stick with Biden."
The Democratic Party considered replacing Biden after the Presidential debate revealed his inability to walk or speak, but the amount of ballots already prepared for harvesting dissuaded them. "Obviously, Biden can't operate a frialator, much less run a country," said White House chief of staff Jeff Zeints. "To have him continue to be the corpse-like mouthpiece of the Party is nothing short of elder abuse, and everyone knows it. Still, do you know how long it takes to fill out two hundred thousand ballots? Ugh, it is so much work! Forget it."
At publishing time, annoyed Democrats had begun preparing another hundred thousand ballots for harvesting after seeing how bad the post-debate poll numbers looked.
The Bee...always a little ahead of the “real” news!
25th Amendment.
There the Bee goes again......drifting out of satire and into reality.
Another 10/10 from the BB.
:-)))
You bought a bratwurst, but bit down and found it was a turd. But, you can’t stop chewing because others would see you were wrong.
I do kind of wonder the real reason they won’t switch Biden out is they realize just how stupid large swaths of the democrat voters are and if a name they recognize isn’t on the ballot, they’ll just pick a name randomly.
There must be 91 million ballots filled out so far.
Dems Stick With Biden As It Would Be A Real Pain To Reprint These Ballots They Already Filled Out, What With All Those Poll Workers Trained on How to Run Boxes of Ballots Through The Counting Machines Multiple Times
That! and they can’t spend that campaign money on anybody else unless Biden quits - and then they have to deal with Harris...
The only reason I can come up that Biden does not resign now is.....
Nobody understands anything he says anyway.
:-)
Or they might try to write in Biden's name, but "Biden" is hard to spell.
Good Medal Article!!
I beat them by a couple of days, but I was serious.
Ha! Kinda like a spoiler alert!! 😁
One of their best!
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