Posted on 05/26/2024 1:02:58 PM PDT by Fester Chugabrew
This man was in an accident and was required to fill out an insurance claim form. The insurance company asked for additional information. In reply he said the following:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information for Block 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of the accident. You stated in your letter that I should explain more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am an amateur radio operator. On the day of my accident I was working alone on the top of my new, 80-foot radio tower. As I completed my work, I discovered that over the course of construction of the tower I had brought up approximately 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware.
Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and materials down by hand, I decided to lower the items in a small barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and materials into the barrel.
I then went back down the tower and untied the rope to ensure a slow descent of the barrel. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked of the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceed at a rather rapid rate up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were embedded two-knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by that time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight of 155 pounds as reported in Block 11 of the report.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me down enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on that pile of tools in pain and unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope."
Ping again. I’m done for the night.
two men pass each other in midair at over 200 ft above ground. one yells at the other in passing “know anything about parachutes?” while the other yells “know anything about gas grills?”
A true classic, I kicked the slats out of the cradle the first time I heard it.
LOL This has potential to be a great thread...
ping
I remember Richard Dawson telling a similar version of this story, except it was a about bricklayer, on a segment of the Steve Allen Show back around 1963.
Versions of the story go back to the 19th century.
Old joke. Still funny.
Similar situation, in an Irish ditty:
Sick Note
Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
and at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight;
me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
and I write this note to say why Paddy’s not at work today.
While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear; now, to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea.
the foreman wasn’t very pleased, he being an awkward sod
he said I’d have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.
Now, clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow,
so I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below.
But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see
that a barrelful of building bricks was heavier than me.
So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
and clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead.
Well, I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
that halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
and when I reached the top I banged the pully with my head.
Well, I clung on tight through numbed shock from this almighty blow and the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below.
Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more; still clinging tightly to the rope, I sped towards the ground, and I landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered round.
Well, I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I’d passed the worst, when the barrel hit the pully-wheel and then the bottom burst. Well, a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn’t got a hope, as I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go of the bloody rope.
The barrel than being heavier, it started down once more,
and landed right across me, as I lay upon the floor.
Well, it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
that I hope you’ll understand why Paddy’s not at work today
LOL!
Thank you for the laugh. I needed that.
Well look at that! Has to precede the version I inherited.
Too funny!
You could have just said, “I just flew in from New York - and boy are my arms tired”, and it would have been just as unfunny.
To be sure, there is a hackneyed aspect to this, but that one you just landed is a good one, too.
No, your thread's title isn't any more deserving of attention that anybody else's.
Post of the day!
Ha! The page I was drawing from (manually) had all caps for the title, so just following the manuscript. Sue me.
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