Posted on 05/14/2024 4:24:53 AM PDT by servo1969
U.S. — College Students protesting Israel announced an indefinite hunger strike on Monday, which they say will occur between the hours of 10 AM and 5 PM, with an hour for lunch at noon with only some light snacking permitted from time to time.
"We mean business!" said Princeton University student Jezebel Bashar. "It will be hard to eat absolutely nothing for part of the day followed by an after-lunch period of a few hours of not eating again, but we are committed!"
On the first day of the hunger strike, protestors appeared visibly weakened with many resorting to emergency granola bars just to be safe. The group appeared to gain more momentum and energy following their lunch break.
"We support Palestine's right to kill every Jew until there are no more Jews!" said one unidentified protestor between massive bites of a New York slice. "Look what you're making us do!"
Princeton faculty remain supportive of the protests, expressing their firm commitment to freedom of speech for anyone wishing to erase the Israeli state and all her inhabitants from the face of the world for all time. They also admit they're at least a little curious about how far students will take this.
"Can you imagine if they went a couple of hours without eating? They could become healthy," commented the head of the Environmental Health Sciences Department.
New York police, meanwhile, have opted for a different strategy — tempting students with delicious hot dogs. "Fat protestors are easier to control," admitted Chief of Police Anton Kremel. "Ooo look! I got another bite!"
At publishing time, students had canceled the 1 PM to 2 PM strike due to concerns over plummeting blood sugar levels.
Bee sting
It may be that union rules have firm fasting rules that require mandatory breaks for breakfast, lunch and dinner with the standard refreshment breaks during a 24 hour period.
The Bee did it again!! Meanwhile, next to the protesters, College Republicans will set up a BBQ, like the Yale College Republicans did...🤓
The BB almost got me.
But this satire is so close to the current reality that it is believable.
Just call all them sonsofbitches Hungry Jack!
Ah yes, reminds me of The Great Grape Caper in response to a campus protest for a grape boycott.
The good old days
1) What he wanted was reasonable.
2) The British ruling class knew he had the self discipline to starve himself to death.
3) If he died his movement would seriously stop being non-violent (because that approach would not have worked).
With current year lefties, points 1 and 2 do not apply at all, and as for point 3 they are already violent.
More Honey Nut Cheerios for us , LOL
Poor guys, when the hunger strike ends, there will be those who are reluctant to abandon it. I hope that the cold meat sandwiches are not going to make them obese. Thank you bee for keeping us well informed.
LOL! They should also use from midnight to 6:00 am as another great “hunger strike” time.
The Bee is good! LOL!
Well since I do 16:8 Fasting every day, I can say that I’m fasting for Israel.
Absolutely. And lace every meal with “something” that will loosen things up. And then, disable all the porta potties.
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