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DOD Leaps Into Action (Safe and Effective Satire)
4/18/24 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 04/18/2024 2:36:10 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

After hearing the sad story of President Biden losing his beloved uncle to New Guinea cannibals, Secretary of Defense , LLoyd Austin, leaped into action.

The Secretary related his own story of his great, great grandfather, LLoyd Ambrose Austin, being chased by Arab slavers and escaping, but unfortunately being eaten by cannibals in Niger.

The Secretary, working with DARPA, announced two initiatives for all troops in cannibal vulnerable stations, to include NATO, CENCOM, Asia and selected blue states. All troops in those areas will be supplied with Cannibal Repellant and will be micro-chipped with a chip similar to an Air-Tag. If the Cannibal Repellant fails, the victim can be tracked and any remains recovered by locating the micro-chip.

Any troop eaten by cannibals will also be awarded the Purple Heart with "C" device and an Afghanistan Advance To The Rear Medal (got to get rid of those damn things).


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Military/Veterans; Society
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 04/18/2024 2:36:10 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Maybe you could work for the Bee!!


2 posted on 04/18/2024 2:38:14 PM PDT by fishtank (The denial of original sin is the root of liberalism.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet
"the sad story of President Biden losing his beloved uncle to New Guinea cannibals,"

Maybe biden confused him with a Hunter that was eaten by cannabis.
3 posted on 04/18/2024 4:31:21 PM PDT by clearcarbon (Fraudulent elections have consequences.)
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