Posted on 02/07/2024 8:40:35 AM PST by Twotone
Dating in 2024 isn't the same as it was in generations past. Why? Your date might be one of those transgenders. Surgical advancements and breakthroughs in hormone therapy have made it more difficult to know if you're dating a male or female than ever before.
Don't worry! The Babylon Bee is here to help you determine your date's true gender with the following list of signs to watch for:
1. She picked a restaurant in 5 seconds: No woman can accomplish this feat.
2. She ordered a ribeye and a Guinness: Nice order… SIR.
3. She works as the U.S. Assistant Secretary of Health: Oh no! Your date is Admiral Rachel Levine!
4. She just wants to chill, smoke cigars, and name obscure running backs: Enjoying a Padrón and throwing out names like "Tim Biakabutuka" isn't any woman's idea of a good time.
5. Her chest is hairier than yours: You can tell even though she isn't wearing a low-cut blouse because it's sticking out the neck hole.
6. She won a gold medal in the men's decathlon at the 1976 Olympics: As impressive as this accomplishment is, that ain't no lady.
7. She tries to seduce you by burping the alphabet: Any woman would score major points with this, but everyone knows that isn't going to happen.
8. She says she has a doctor's appointment on Thursday for a prostate exam: We're not biologists, but we're fairly certain women don't have prostates.
9. She can watch a movie without asking any questions about the plot: Only a man can follow the plot of a movie that well.
10. She's currently peeing at the urinal next to you: RUN!
If you notice any of the signs listed above, it's a near guarantee that you're on a date with a dude. Politely excuse yourself, leave the restaurant, and pretend like this date never happened.
Never met a girl who liked them. Girls are just weird.
“She” has a penis.
Well it’s never happened to me.....Maybe my Spidey senses are still intact.... So there is that.
“Her” friends call her Big Mike?
She named her penis.
You never know if you get the right person and grab them by the Hoo-ha maybe she doesn’t get mad but gets excited, it’s worth walking up to random women, engage in pleasant conversation and while talking with them, just ask, do you want to engage in the horizontal cha cha. You might get slapped, or you might get lucky.
What sane person would date in this modern world?
I’m keeping my money and more happy for it - LOL.
I am so thankful i do not ‘date’.
Interesting that most of the FR comments above expect manly responses from M to F trans perverts. Actually, the opposite is true. I run into these people pretty often in the hipster part of town I work in and they are the sissies faggots we tormented in high school. Now, on the other hand, those butch lesbos and their F to M trans counterparts are the ones likely to order a appreciate the Stooges or do a “hold ma beer and watch this antic.”
Proper response to a guy like that is to lock him in a room with a straight razor and a bottle of cheap vodka ...
Well, that’s what Leo Durocher confessed to. He would basically put his hand on her lap in that vicinity while both were sitting. A good girl would move the hand or herself. The ones who didn’t got more attention. Effective, but as a Catholic and a civilized man I do not recommend this behavior. I am goad my wife never met Leo Durocher.
If you’re a sufficiently high-profile celebrity, you can get away with grabbing women by the “kitty-cat”.
A certain high-profile celebrity asserts that this is so ... but he never claimed personal experience, so I’m not sure if I believe him.
Yes, I agree. My method was tactful but assertive, and thankfully he backed away. A bridal salon isn’t where you want to make a scene, but I tell you, I was close.
That’s what the hands were like! Didn’t fit the body at all. Are boys’ hands big as they go through puberty? I’ve never paid attention. It was a slimly built person, and I seriously tried to figure it out. An over abundance of makeup made me think it was a guy. No hips but until some women have children they don’t really get them. I remain stumped but lean toward it being a guy dressed as a woman. Most of them you can tell pretty easily. The neck was covered up with a scarf, but I was wearing one, too. It was pretty cold that day.
“She named her penis.”
Guys in my fraternity had “Lopey the Spoiler” and “Mr. Wangdoodle.” They spoke fondly of the high pressure injections their friends administered.
Real women will never talk like that. There’s probably a secret ladies’ code, but I’ve not heard it. If you hear a person in a dress and makeup talking like that, it might be a clue.
The first time I was in Thailand we were given an intel brief before we were cut loose. One of the things we were warned about were the numerous he/shes in the area. We were told to look and see if any woman approaching us had an Adams apple. We had an insufferable 2nd Lt with us and a he/she approached him. Someone was going to warn him but one of the Es stopped him. I don't think that lieutenant ever knew his happy ending didn't come from a woman. Nowadays, they have their Adams apple surgically removed, so without a careful visual and hands on inspection there is no way to tell a he/she apart from a real woman.
They don’t use you for a free meal cause you’re a nice guy
“ If you’re a sufficiently high-profile celebrity, you can get away with grabbing women by the “kitty-cat”.”
That’s the fake libtard version and not actually what he said on tape.
He said they will *let you* grab ….
I was never a sufficiently high-profile celebrity, I had to at least pay for dinner one time in order to examine the package, but if you are part of the younger generation, you should make it SOP to check the merchandise before consummating the purchase, it could cause severe mental issues otherwise.
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