https://babylonbee.com/news/holy-spirits-presence-departs-from-church-building-after-discovering-its-just-a-remodeled-pizza-hut

BabylonBee.com ^ | 1/17/2024 | BabylonBee.com

[wastedyears]

HENDERSONVILLE, TN — A local congregation was thrown into despair this week after being notified that the Holy Spirit's presence had departed from the church building after discovering it was just a remodeled Pizza Hut.

[dayglored]

"This is a deal-breaker," said a spokesperson from Heaven. "We know you've seen what churches used to look like. They were beautiful, awe-inspiring architectural works of art that induced reverence in people who entered and pointed men toward the glory of their Creator. This place was a Pizza Hut... we all know that roofline. You're not fooling anyone, least of all a member of the Holy Trinity."

The congregants wept solemnly while also admitting the building did, in fact, once serve as a Pizza Hut. "Yes, it's true," said Pastor Jim Grant. "We cannot deny that the people of our town have enjoyed many a delicious Meat Lover's pizza in this very room. Hundreds of children, beaming with their Book-It buttons, ate personal pan pizzas right where we worship. I thought that the Lord would still meet with His people here, even if it was on the spot where pan crusts were buttered. I was wrong."

At publishing time, Pastor Grant had announced that River of Revival Church would be moving several miles away to a much more holy building that used to be a Best Buy.

[Dr. Sivana]

The Pizza Hut I used to work at was turned into a cell phone store. Now it is just a paved parking lot.

[Responsibility2nd]

Remember.... Headline goes here. Link goes there.

[algore]

Https://www.washingtonian.com/2024/01/17/arlingtons-bizarre-gas-station-church-may-be-headed-to-kingdom-come

[Tell It Right]

Said the Holy Spirit on the way out: I thought they said they “anoint with olive oil”. What they said was “anchovies with olives also”:

[stars & stripes forever]

New low for Babylon Bee.

[ansel12]

For a lot of us here that church is far fancier than what we attend.

[Free Deplorable]

I distinctly remember the song “Do You Know What I Know” has a verse that says:

Said the king to the people everywhere:
“Listen to what I say!
Pray for pizza, people everywhere!
Listen to what I say!

So I say bogus to the Holy Spirit taking off.

[who_would_fardels_bear]

Christians we used to call fundies were so proud of the money they saved renting out space in strip malls.

"God is everywhere"! No need for columns, spires, and stained glass.

God doesn't need Gothic cathedrals, but many of us appreciate the effort, engineering, and artistry that went into building these inspiring structures.