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Epstein List Hangs Itself Moments Before Release
The Babylon Bee ^
| Jan. 2 2024
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 01/03/2024 9:36:05 AM PST by xp38
U.S. — In a shocking turn of events, the Epstein List was found hanging in a secure document storage facility this morning, according to local authorities.
"This is such a tragedy for many of us who desperately wanted to know who was on that list," said former Presidential candidate and document security expert Hillary Clinton. "Now we'll sadly never know. My thoughts and prayers are with the family of this 'Epstein List,' may it rest in peace."
Authorities confirmed the list was found hanging by a rope tied to an overhead beam, and that it had killed itself completely of its own accord.
The list was cremated and buried this morning.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bee; epstein
1
posted on
01/03/2024 9:36:05 AM PST
by
xp38
To: xp38
2
posted on
01/03/2024 9:47:25 AM PST
by
SaxxonWoods
(Are you ready for Black Lives MAGA? It's coming.)
To: xp38
My face went into contortions...what are they trying to say...
Ouch...that hurt...
3
posted on
01/03/2024 9:51:52 AM PST
by
Sacajaweau
( )
To: xp38
Deep State’s message to any malcontents has clearly been received and understood.
4
posted on
01/03/2024 9:54:26 AM PST
by
mewzilla
(Never give up; never surrender!)
To: xp38
The Bee is way too funny!
5
posted on
01/03/2024 9:56:34 AM PST
by
Tell It Right
(1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: xp38
Classic! Gotta love the Bee.
6
posted on
01/03/2024 9:59:35 AM PST
by
wildcard_redneck
(He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither.)
To: xp38
Wait until this turns out to be true. At least the cremation part.
To: xp38
Epstein List Hangs Itself Moments Before ReleaseYep, and again the security cameras in the FBI Secure Records Storage were strangely non operational.
8
posted on
01/03/2024 10:07:27 AM PST
by
Navy Patriot
(Celebrate Decivilization)
To: xp38
Redacted version found hung!
9
posted on
01/03/2024 10:07:54 AM PST
by
Jan_Sobieski
(Sanctification)
To: xp38
10
posted on
01/03/2024 10:18:37 AM PST
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: xp38
Epstein’s list didn’t kill itself!
11
posted on
01/03/2024 10:23:21 AM PST
by
Still Thinking
(Freedom is NOT a loophole!)
To: xp38
12
posted on
01/03/2024 10:28:19 AM PST
by
6ppc
(Democrats would have to climb Everest to reach the level of "scum of the earth")
To: xp38
13
posted on
01/03/2024 10:50:16 AM PST
by
Grampa Dave
("Every single one ohutf us should lose hope with the Biden admin": Brandon Judd!!!:)
To: xp38
“document security expert Hillary Clinton”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
14
posted on
01/03/2024 11:09:35 AM PST
by
2CAVTrooper
(Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it.)
To: goldbux
ELDKI
15
posted on
01/03/2024 4:29:13 PM PST
by
goldbux
(“The whole world is a very narrow bridge. The main thing is to have no fear at all.” –– R. Nachman)
To: xp38
I KNEW something like this was going to happen.
16
posted on
01/03/2024 4:39:12 PM PST
by
gitmo
(If your theology doesn't match your biography, what good is it?)
To: xp38
The security camera malfunctioned for the moments of action in which the Epstein List hung itself, mysteriously not capturing any of the act.
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