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Sad: Man Unable To Brush Teeth After Failing To Pay Monthly Subscription On Smart Toothbrush
BabylonBee.com ^ | 12-26-2023 | Staff

Posted on 12/27/2023 2:57:47 AM PST by servo1969

SANTA MONICA, CA — A local man was tragically rendered unable to brush his teeth after he mistakenly neglected to pay the monthly subscription fee on his smart electric toothbrush.

"Toothbrush functionality disabled," the toothbrush had chirped loudly after a payment was declined. "Please update your method of payment to continue brushing your teeth."

"This is awful," said Jake Brown, owner of the toothbrush. "Things have just been so busy with the holidays and everything going on, I forgot to make this month's payment on my subscription for my OraDent Max, and now I haven't been able to brush my teeth for weeks! No one in my family wants to be anywhere near me. This is terrible!"

Brown had been the envy of many of his family members and friends earlier this year when he became one of the lucky first owners of the OraDent Max smart electric toothbrush, which features full Bluetooth capabilities, iPhone integration, the ability to sync with the user's contacts list and online music library, and more. "It's the future of toothbrushing," said OraDent spokesman Neil Prince. "No one is going to settle for an analog toothbrush anymore when they can have the world at their fingertips with a smart toothbrush. Cutting-edge oral hygiene will only cost you a $9.99 monthly subscription!"

By failing to keep his subscription paid up, Brown was left without the ability to maintain any level of oral hygiene. "I can't go back to using a regular toothbrush," he said. "What am I, some kind of caveman?"

At publishing time, Brown was reportedly hoping one of his friends would give him an OraDent Max gift card that would allow him to resume brushing his teeth.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; babylonbeehumor; humor; satire; smart; toothbrush
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To: trebb
Yep - I switched from Office to LibreOffice - started with Open Office but LibreOffice is a superior product.

I use both, thank God (made web site with them). But to print you must deal with that business model, which is akin to buying a SUV for 18k but having to pay 8k for each replacement tire, and maybe now even by able to use reman carts (disallow updates).

Brother laser using remans fine for me, plus HP 8210 inkjet ($100 renewed). 4 Ebay 952Xl reman carts (with very large black) under $20. I still have many 950 reman carts for my previous 8610, which I suspect a HP update prevented from me using anymore.

21 posted on 12/27/2023 7:52:54 AM PST by daniel1212 (Turn 2 the Lord Jesus who saves damned+destitute sinners on His acct, believe, b baptized+follow HIM)
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To: servo1969

I spend just shy of that every month on new toothbrushes.


22 posted on 12/27/2023 8:18:10 AM PST by Celerity
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To: daniel1212

Excel is great. It is powerful. I liked Lotus in DOS, but that was so many years (decades) ago.


23 posted on 12/27/2023 9:20:41 AM PST by MayflowerMadam ("A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.")
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To: Drago
"he said he’d give the money to charity and his aim was was to get rid of the rear toilets..."

I always believed that all toilets were rear toilets.

24 posted on 12/27/2023 11:42:49 AM PST by higgmeister (In the Shadow of The Big Chicken! )
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To: servo1969

The BabylonBee needs to be a nation wide news paper if it doesn’t smarten them up it will make them think about things.


25 posted on 12/27/2023 12:34:34 PM PST by Vaduz (....)
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To: MayflowerMadam

LibreOffice will handle just about any MS documents except the Access Database - old docs can be saved in various Office formats, the Libre Format, or PDF - it even maintains most spreadsheet formulas if you have sheets set up to do math functions.


26 posted on 12/29/2023 4:17:54 AM PST by trebb (So many fools - so little time...)
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To: trebb

I’ll have to check it out sometime. My problem with newer apps and programs is that each upgrade loses functionality that’s important to me. Like keyboard shortcuts.

Since DOS, keyboard shortcuts is what I’ve depended on for accuracy and speed. I wouldn’t even know how to perform most functions plodding through menus using a mouse.


27 posted on 12/29/2023 5:13:41 AM PST by MayflowerMadam ("A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.")
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To: MayflowerMadam

Easy enough to load it up and try it - seems to do a clean uninstall too if you decide you don’t like it.


28 posted on 12/30/2023 4:20:48 AM PST by trebb (So many fools - so little time...)
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To: trebb

It’s definitely an option to consider under the right circumstances.

Sometime this year I’ll be buying a new Windows 7 PC, and will install this to test.


29 posted on 12/30/2023 4:26:51 AM PST by MayflowerMadam ("A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.")
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