Chris Rock walks 5 miles and hitches a ride to escape Burning Man, despite rumors of the Ebola virus as a surprise headliner

wegotthiscovered.com ^ | Sep 3, 2023 1:04 am | Scott Campbell

[Red Badger]

He was so desperate to flee you'd have thought Will Smith was there.

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Just when you thought the world couldn’t possibly get any stranger, the Burning Man festival has been placed on lockdown with nobody allowed to enter or leave after inclement weather turned the entire event in a sludgy pool of knee-deep mud. Of course, celebrities can always find a way to flee, but Chris Rock achieved it in the most unexpected of fashions.

In another sentence that sounds ridiculous when you see it, the actor and comedian ended up walking for five miles through the goop with Diplo of all people, before they ended up hitching a ride with a fellow festival-goer in their pickup truck that managed to make it through the increasingly treacherous terrain in a mad dash for safety.

If you thought today’s edition of “things you never thought you’d hear” was over, then think again after rumors began spreading on social media that Burning Man was also the subject of an Ebola virus outbreak, which would have made for quite the surprise headliner all things considered.

It’s a hoax, of course, but that hasn’t stopped internet users from claiming the CDC is ready to quarantine the entire area in an effort to prevent a national catastrophe. Chris Rock, Diplo, Burning Man, and Ebola; what more could anybody ask for in terms of completely unexpected words to string together that would have sounded preposterously far-fetched as recently as 24 hours ago?

Quarantining and cordoning off a massive stretch of land due to a virus? That sounds an awful lot like I Am Legend, but you’d suspect that won’t be on Rock’s watch-list anytime soon.

[spokeshave]

The "mud" is highly acidic....and will damage the feet & ankles if not protected.

Smart folks put on a sturdy plastic bag for protection.

[Red Badger]

Imagine if Taylor Swift and Britney Spears collaborated on a song.................

[JonPreston]

A five mile walk is decent, putting you well above average for the Medicare set. My overweight Golden would have quit after his second pee.

[spokeshave]

A sludgy pool of knee-deep mud.....

Not good.

[MayflowerMadam]

Carrying a tuba like my dad (said he) did.

[Red Badger]

Well, that’s one way to get rid of Athlete’s foot!....................

[AnotherUnixGeek]

What a wimp! My son loves Burning Man - he stayed for the duration and is out now.

Your son is probably a lot younger than Chris Rock - I did lots of things in my twenties that I could not tolerate anymore. The thought of being confined to a muddy pit in the desert with overflowing Porta-Potties for several days makes my skin crawl at this point. Kevin Hart recently had an "I'm too old for this" moment when he tore some muscles racing an NFL running back - BM 2023 might be that moment for Chris Rock.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

I am surprised the government has not stepped in to enforce the Endangered Species Act to save the fairy shrimp that are hatching out in the mud there.

[Red Badger]

There’s billions of them..............

[Magnum44]

[Fai Mao]

While hiding from bears and dinosaurs.

[Red Badger]

Barefoot with a twisted ankle!....................

[Larry Lucido]

The worst part was when he got his ass kicked by the police.

[dfwgator]

The worst part was when he got his ass kicked by the police.

Too bad he didn't have a white friend.

[GeorgiaDawg32]

Aye..you were lucky to have dirt..

[Magnum44]

inclement weather turned the entire event in a sludgy pool of knee-deep mud

The horror. The horror.

[BigFreakinToad]

Potential pathogen and he walks out as a potential carrier to expose others? what a citizen.

[Larry Lucido]

He had some crazy bitch saying “He got weed!”

[Migraine]

Maybe that’s why they have a course at AZ ST. Univ. devoted to the study and analysis of Taylor Swiffer’s lyrics.

Not a joke.

Soft-headed stuff? An easy “A”?

[Red Badger]

In her case it’s a 3 minute long Twinkie..................