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Ask Amy: We told him not to come to the wedding, but we still wanted his money
Chicago Tribune ^ | 6/29/2023 | By Amy Dickinson

Posted on 06/29/2023 9:25:13 AM PDT by NohSpinZone

Four months before my daughter’s wedding, she told me that her uncle (my brother, “Dave”) would make her feel unsafe if he was a guest. She asked me not to invite him.

My daughter is very politically progressive, as are many of her friends, and although she and Dave have always had a good relationship (I thought), he is a conservative voter and has supported candidates we all abhor.

Dave has always been very nice, so my daughter’s request surprised me.

I wrote Dave a very nice note, telling him that we would not be comfortable with him at the wedding and that he would not be invited.

SNIP

Afterward, I sent him a card and pictures from the wedding, all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out.

I have not heard from Dave since then. When my siblings found out what I had done they were angry with me.

That is just one problem.

Another problem is that Dave has not sent my daughter and son-in-law a wedding gift.

In the past, Dave has given family members wedding checks in excess of $1,000.

She says she was counting on receiving the same type of gift.

My husband says I should drop it – but I can’t. Dave’s behavior is upsetting and embarrassing to me.

How can I get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior?

(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: amydickinson; askamy; chicago; chicagotribune; conservative; demagogicparty; demwit; entitlement; illinois; mediawingofthednc; partisanmediashill; partisanmediashills; progressive; ronklain; wedding; whiteprivilege
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To: NohSpinZone

this girl is a snot, unless Dave molested her. I’d think letter writing Mom of Bridezilla woulda mentioned that, though.
For all that think this is made up, sadly we have family just like this.


101 posted on 06/29/2023 11:41:03 AM PDT by ronniesgal (friends don't let friends be Kardashians)
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To: twister881

“Friends are the family you choose.”

Beautiful


102 posted on 06/29/2023 11:50:43 AM PDT by SheepWhisperer (Get involved with, or start a home fellowship group. It will be the final church. ACTS 2:42-47)
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To: Enterprise
Wen one of my sons got married, we had a guest list of around 500. About 50 guests didn't show up, and the majority was on the DIL side. Later, when they heard about what a great reception it was, they said they regretted not attending. I think that part of this was that they didn't know that we would provide an open bar. We purchased a couple of thousand dollars of beer, wine, and hard liquor, and it was quality stuff. We only asked the guests to tip the volunteer bartenders. Each bartender ended the night with 350 dollars each.

Great job.

When my daughter got married, {about 40 years ago} I was on the verge of bankruptcy but had about $ 40K left in the bank and spent it all on her wedding.

I decided that if I was going broke, what the hell.

I had an open bar, limos, top shelf booze, a great venue and most said it was the best wedding that they had ever attended.

It was so long ago that politics were never even considered.

I recovered from my debt pit, and never regretted going all in for the wedding.

My mother attended, so there was at least one DemonRAT there, God rest her soul.

103 posted on 06/29/2023 12:02:17 PM PDT by USS Alaska (NUKE ALL MOOSELIMB TERRORISTS, NOW.)
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To: NohSpinZone

Wow.


104 posted on 06/29/2023 12:13:28 PM PDT by sauropod (“If they don’t believe our lies, well, that’s just conspiracy theorist stuff, there.”)
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To: NohSpinZone

But she sent him a “very nice note”!


105 posted on 06/29/2023 12:19:27 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: adorno

It’s not stupidity, it’s a programmed conformity. It’s become so normal to denounce your relatives and friends as racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic evildoers that these indoctrinated kids truly don’t understand why the denounced party doesn’t apologize on the spot. After all, they signalled their virtue as loudly as they could.

Now they can pretend to be victims.

I know some people whose children really have done this to them (without asking for money afterward, thankfully), so I might be just a tad bitter.


106 posted on 06/29/2023 12:20:58 PM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: HamiltonJay

That’s far better than the response “Amy” gave.


107 posted on 06/29/2023 12:28:23 PM PDT by Nea Wood (Screw diversity. Celebrate excellence. )
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To: NohSpinZone
Uncle Dave should donate the one thousand dollars to
the Trump campaign. Then casually mention to his brother
that he made the donation. That will get back to Dave's
uneasy, progressive niece eventually.
108 posted on 06/29/2023 12:38:07 PM PDT by StormEye
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To: Jim W N

The brother should send them a wedding card wishing them well and not put a dime in the card.


109 posted on 06/29/2023 12:51:21 PM PDT by GOPJ (BUD LIGHT QUEER BEER - - - DOESN'T BELONG AT THE JULY 4TH CELEBRATION.)
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To: ronniesgal

See post 89.


110 posted on 06/29/2023 12:54:17 PM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: NohSpinZone

The petty behavior is coming from your family, honey.

And what an entitled brat you raised who thinks that after telling someone they are not invited to her wedding, she is still expecting a VERY generous wedding Gift.

Dave is better off without that bunch in his life.

This woman has far more to be embarrassed over than her brother.


111 posted on 06/29/2023 1:08:48 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!)
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To: Chickensoup

Yeah, I guess nothing should surprise me at my age. But sometimes things still do.


112 posted on 06/29/2023 1:29:55 PM PDT by rbg81
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To: silverleaf
Lol! Dave should let the happy couple know he donated $1,000 to Trump’s PAC in their names and wish them well.

YES! That would be perfect.

113 posted on 06/29/2023 1:45:12 PM PDT by zeugma (Stop deluding yourself that America is still a free country.)
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To: NohSpinZone

Dave handled it just right. Silence in this instance is the best revenge. This tortures the sister because she knows deep down how wrong she is. It also means Dave gets to enjoy not seeing her at family functions as she sounds like a complete loon.


114 posted on 06/29/2023 1:47:02 PM PDT by Codeflier (Don't worry....be happy)
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To: NohSpinZone

How do you write a nice note telling Dave he isn’t invited?


115 posted on 06/29/2023 1:49:35 PM PDT by roving (👌⚓)
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To: rlmorel

I’m the executor of my mom’s will.

Maybe I’ll remember when the time comes.


116 posted on 06/29/2023 1:50:47 PM PDT by cyclotic
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To: adorno

You obviously don’t know many white female Democrats. This is exactly how they act. They have so much moral authority in their minds, that this is perfectly justifiable to them. In short, white female Democrats are often insane and are the most problematic demographic in our country.


117 posted on 06/29/2023 1:51:43 PM PDT by Codeflier (Don't worry....be happy)
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To: NohSpinZone
Afterward, I sent him a card and pictures from the wedding, all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out.

Dave should send back a card with a picture of money in it.

118 posted on 06/29/2023 2:03:35 PM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: dfwgator

That’s blunt man!


119 posted on 06/29/2023 2:19:07 PM PDT by GOYAKLA
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To: rktman

The Daves I Know

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nvzEqsZIGo


120 posted on 06/29/2023 2:29:38 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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