Posted on 06/29/2023 9:25:13 AM PDT by NohSpinZone
Four months before my daughter’s wedding, she told me that her uncle (my brother, “Dave”) would make her feel unsafe if he was a guest. She asked me not to invite him.
My daughter is very politically progressive, as are many of her friends, and although she and Dave have always had a good relationship (I thought), he is a conservative voter and has supported candidates we all abhor.
Dave has always been very nice, so my daughter’s request surprised me.
I wrote Dave a very nice note, telling him that we would not be comfortable with him at the wedding and that he would not be invited.
SNIP
Afterward, I sent him a card and pictures from the wedding, all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out.
I have not heard from Dave since then. When my siblings found out what I had done they were angry with me.
That is just one problem.
Another problem is that Dave has not sent my daughter and son-in-law a wedding gift.
In the past, Dave has given family members wedding checks in excess of $1,000.
She says she was counting on receiving the same type of gift.
My husband says I should drop it – but I can’t. Dave’s behavior is upsetting and embarrassing to me.
How can I get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior?
(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...
Yes.
Yes, they are.
HALF THE POPULATION IS BELOW AVERAGE.
And this isn't just stupidity, it's also narcissism, greed, and a deranged ideology.
The NRA works too.
I’d have sent her a picture of a $5,000 check made out to her. With VOID written across it.
Dear Amy,
I’d love to buy Dave a beer sometime and talk politics and nasty family antics. Can you pass this on to him?
tthanks
t
Now Dave has a thousand dollars to give out in any combination of wedding gifts he sees fit to weddings he or his wife is invited to where the bride and groom are the child of a friend, a co-worker, etc. and he would normally only give a nominal gift.
Dave should have sent her a return note saying it’s just as well I have a meeting on Monday to update my will.
Wedding? As in lesbians?
Typical liberals: They want all the benefits like money but none of the responsibilities like inviting the person who gives the money to the wedding.
The Response was perfect.
“Let’s recap: Your delicate daughter is too frightened to be near a conservative voter to allow her uncle “Dave” to attend her wedding.
She then asks you to do her dirty work for her, and (of course) you do!
Fine – so far, we have only a bride’s prerogative to create her own guest list, and her mother’s choice to protect her from any consequences, which is your prerogative.
You then rub the excluded guest’s nose in this wedding by sending him photos of the event to which he has pointedly not been invited.
But it’s your second “problem” which I believe will enter the Bridezilla Hall of Infamy.
In short: Brides who are too afraid of family members to invite them to a family wedding don’t then get the pleasure of receiving their money.
You seem almost as afraid of your daughter as she is of your brother, but I hope you’ll find a way to courageously tell her that the Bank of Uncle Dave is closed, at least to your branch of the family.
So far, your silent brother is the only family member who is behaving appropriately. He’s steering clear, which is exactly what you have asked him to do.”
Okay, this is actually more complex.
First off, why is she uncomfortable? Did he harm/molest her or do something else to her that you are unaware of? If the answer to the reason she is uncomfortable is simply because he doesn’t share her political opinions, then that’s insane.
Second, who is paying for the wedding? If she paid for it, she controls the guest list, but if you paid for it, then unless she was molested or abused by said Uncle, you should have told her to grow up that he is family and he is coming.
Third, to expect a gift after being complete slighted (assuming he has not harmed or molested her), shows your daughter is a horrible human being, and that you raised a brat....
Given you capitulated to her desires, (unless of course there was some history of abuse/molestation), its pretty clear to see how she wound up that we.
I wish her husband good luck, he’s going to need it.
If he had molested or harmed her in some way that made her feel uncomfortable, then she has ever right to not have him attend, but she should not be expecting cash after doing so.
Correct. It's been said that you can pick your friends, but not your family. But the latter is not true.
How can people be so stupid?
Dave’s response is upsetting?!?!? Dave should send her and her wife a card with a big FU!
He gave her a gift that was a part of himself - the middle finger.
Have you met today's Dimms?
Dave should let the happy couple know he donated $1,000 to Trump’s PAC in their names and wish them well.
_____________________________________________________
That’s beautiful! Dave won’t be invited to their gender reveal party, gender transition party, or anything else — to his relief.
People are.
I know a daughter who was discussing with her mother the wedding plans. When her uncle was suggested as executive chef...the daughter agreed. When mother called because brother had not received his invitation she was told by daughter that the invite was going out in second batch. Ten minutes later her fiance called to say that there was no second batch. He was not invited. No extended family. The mother had to tell uncle and it devastated them both.
By the way there was plenty of extended family there and empty tables galore. Bitch
When I was a kid, I hardly knew the political affiliations of my friends’ parents, or my relatives who didn’t live with me.
Too much of people’s identity is tied up with social media. It’s crazy.
Not to mention the funeral when the confused trans decides they want to go back to what they were after having irreversible gender surgery.
Wen one of my sons got married, we had a guest list of around 500. About 50 guests didn’t show up, and the majority was on the DIL side. Later, when they heard about what a great reception it was, they said they regretted not attending. I think that part of this was that they didn’t know that we would provide an open bar. We purchased a couple of thousand dollars of beer, wine, and hard liquor, and it was quality stuff. We only asked the guests to tip the volunteer bartenders. Each bartender ended the night with 350 dollars each.
Attaboy Dave!
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