Got Wood Milk? Aubrey Plaza's hilarious commercial satirizing plant-based “milks” has the Left crying.

Not The Bee ^ | May 11, 2023 | Staff

[Red Badger]

First off, if you haven't seen the hilarious milk commercial from Aubrey Plaza, it's worth the 1:48 run time.

1:48 VIDEO AT LINK............

Their website is also really funny, especially the FAQ with gems like:

Does Wood Milk expire?

Yes. But you have to pour out the milk, reassemble the pieces of the trunk and count the rings.

I know Parks and Recreation is just a make believe television show, and Aubrey isn't really April.

But tell me Ron Swanson wouldn't be proud of his protégé for sticking it to the hippies.

Even more so for this Reeeee-action from Vox screaming about how plant-based milk is real milk too.

Besides just look at those poor cow slaves on dairy farms being forced to provide milk for humans.

We should all be more humane and virtue signal by guzzling plant pulp instead.

Now, I know I'm going to get some pushback about how some people lack toes or something and can't drink real milk, but can we at least acknowledge that the point of the commercial is right on.

People with legit medical problems with milk need an alternative, but it is an alternative to the real thing.

While we're acknowledging things, can we also acknowledge why all these plant-based foods are pretending to be animal products?

Why almond and oat extract are called "milk" instead of juice.

Or why we call them veggie-burgers and not grilled veggie-mash.

We all know why.

Because meat and animal products are delicious, and vegans and vegetarians are living a lie.

[MomwithHope]

This is an oldie but a goodie on almond milk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJCTIPWPNtw

[struggle]

Wood milk is making a Kim Kardashian styled comeback

[Tilted Irish Kilt]

Red Badger :" If you make cheese out of wood milk does it turn back into wood?............."

You count the rings of cellulose, and determine if it was a good year for cheese.
The more rings, the older , and more sharp the cheese .
No rings - its yogurt !
Willow smells like kitty pee, sorta like limberger of the softwoods,.. hold your nose !

[Tilted Irish Kilt]

Let the chips fall where they may ...
Got milk ? ..

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Wood Shavings = Cheese Curds.

Now with even MORE Hamster! :)

[Songcraft]

If you use a Pussy Willow tree to make your wood milk, you may experience side effects like drinkers of Soy Milk are accustomed to.

[Dad was my hero]

The free range comment was an especially nice touch. LOL.

[coalminersson]

quirky and I like quirky

[moovova]

No. But it’s a great fire starter.

[Drew68]

I, like most folks skip YouTube commercials as quickly as allowed. But I watched this one all the way through. Absolutely hilarious.

Yep. As soon as I saw Aubrey Plaza, a relaxed the skip button and watched the whole commercial.

Immediately I understood two things: It was a pretty good commercial and there's going to be a sh*tstorm on social media where anti-milk sentiments are much stronger than they are in real life.

Of course, this came true.

[coalminersson]

I think it’s white lotus,.

[napscoordinator]

Yep. You are right. Thank you.

[minnesota_bound]

[Red Badger]

Musta been a Sweet Gum!.....................

[Red Badger]

We use cedar wood shavings for our chickens nests and coop. Keeps the smell down!.......................

[mewzilla]

Wood milk?!

Gack!

Is this what their mamas feed termite babies?!

[mewzilla]

I’m posting this for one reason...

https://foodinstitute.com/focus/deep-dive-the-state-of-alternative-milk/

Note where the data touting great sounding sales comes from.

[Red Badger]

If wood milk sours, do you get splinters in your mouth?..............

[Impala64ssa]

This is like the BBC spaghetti tree hoax in 1957 🙂🙂