Posted on 03/24/2023 8:31:31 AM PDT by McGruff
District Attorney Alvin Bragg is reportedly set to indict Trump this coming Tuesday for the removal of a mattress tag back in 1997. According to sources, new evidence was discovered in the mattress tag cold case by grizzled Detective Harry Jakes, who utilized modern advances in forensic science to place former president Donald Trump at the scene of the crime.
In a surprise move, Trump has not denied the troubling accusation, though he maintains doing so was not illegal. "The tag says 'except by consumer.' I am a huge consumer. Probably the greatest consumer ever, and I had every right to remove that tag. The deep state is trying to dig up anything they can just to keep me from reclaiming the presidential throne."
"Witch hunt!"
Independent fact checkers have rated Trump's claim "a bald-faced lie," citing the fact that the president does not sit on a throne. Also, he is Trump and that is bad. The fact-check article does not make mention of the mattress tag issue directly, but does note, "[Trump] broke both federal and international laws probably."
A United Nations committee has been assembled to investigate whether the matter qualifies as a war crime.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
That poor man. He needs blanket immunity.
In a bedder world, no one would give a sheet. There’d be more important mattress.
Reading in the common area at Dole VA in Wichita yesterday, its a $50 fine for spitting outside on hospital grounds.
If only Nancy still controlled the House she could impeach him again.
This is how ridiculous this whole thing is.
The left simply cannot find anything legitimate to pin on him.
When we were kids, we were really scared by those labels.
Attorney General Garland is investigating whether Tump transported the mattress across a state line, authorizing Federal charges,
Yet, with all the investigation, they find only dubious, manufactured nonsense to charge him with...
The Babylon Bee does it again.
This is ultimately the goal of communist leftists (i.e. democrats). They make everything illegal, force everyone to break laws every day then use that lawfare to threaten your freedom when you dare step out of line.
I remember when the tags didn’t have the words “except by the consumer”. So many people never cut them off. They also thought they could go to jail if they did.
I thought there was a statute of limitations on this crime. /S
They can then use these in EVERY political ad, from dogcatcher up to Presidential races for millennia.
Does not matter if it's all BS and will go nowhere... they just really, really need those pictures!!
Trump had one of his assistants purchase the mattress for him, therefore Trump wasn't the official "consumer" and it's gotta be upgraded to a felony.
Me too!!!!
Mattress Tag Remover!!!!!
(screams at sky: Why??? WHY????!!!!!)
Even worse, they are about to break a story that he went through the Supermarket Express Lane with more than 15 items.
Show me the man...
And I’ll show you the mattress tag!
OH MY GOSH!!!!
I’ve heard....And am about to confirm....
President Trump wore white after Labor Day!!
I also have it on good authority that he once taped a baseball game without the expressed written consent of the Commissioner of Baseball.
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