Posted on 03/24/2023 8:31:31 AM PDT by McGruff
District Attorney Alvin Bragg is reportedly set to indict Trump this coming Tuesday for the removal of a mattress tag back in 1997. According to sources, new evidence was discovered in the mattress tag cold case by grizzled Detective Harry Jakes, who utilized modern advances in forensic science to place former president Donald Trump at the scene of the crime.
In a surprise move, Trump has not denied the troubling accusation, though he maintains doing so was not illegal. "The tag says 'except by consumer.' I am a huge consumer. Probably the greatest consumer ever, and I had every right to remove that tag. The deep state is trying to dig up anything they can just to keep me from reclaiming the presidential throne."
"Witch hunt!"
Independent fact checkers have rated Trump's claim "a bald-faced lie," citing the fact that the president does not sit on a throne. Also, he is Trump and that is bad. The fact-check article does not make mention of the mattress tag issue directly, but does note, "[Trump] broke both federal and international laws probably."
A United Nations committee has been assembled to investigate whether the matter qualifies as a war crime.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
They got him now!
They’ve got him this time. Leavenworth for sure.
That’s it! I’m done with Trump!
Thanking God for The Babylon Bee!
We REALLY got him now!!
This is more believable than the lamestream media
Those tags always scared me. My 20 year old couch still has the tag.
1997 was during the Guiliani years so he probably got a mayoral pardon on it. :)
I had to catch myself just last night I almost ripped the tag off of a new mattress.
It was a close one.
The walls are closing in.
It looks like the far left turd rollers have finally got him. I knew Alvin the Chumpmonk had something else up his sleeve.
The only reason Bragg is going after the mattress tag is that witnesses backed out on the chewing gum in class and spitting on the sidewalk violations.
Well the tag does say it can be removed by the consumer.
Was Trump the consumer? If so no problem.
I don’t know, I couldn’t have been more than 7 or 8 years old when I read that the feds could come after you for removing the stupid tag and even at that young age thought there was something wrong with that.
Have you ever consumed a mattress? I find they need a lot of salt ...
😆
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