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Chuck Schumer Warns Buffalo Hat Guy Will Crawl Out Of Your TV And Kill You If You Watch Tucker's Jan 6 Video
The Babylon Bee ^ | March 8, 2023

Posted on 03/09/2023 12:57:36 AM PST by McGruff

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Desperate to keep more of the American public from seeing previously unreleased security camera footage from the January 6, 2021 breaching of the U.S. Capitol, New York Senator Chuck Schumer has now issued a warning that the Buffalo Hat QAnon Shaman will crawl out of the television set and kill anyone who dares to view the video.

"I cannot overstate how dangerous this is," Senator Schumer said to members of the media at the Capitol. "I heard from a friend who said their uncle's cousin's ex-wife told them that this video is cursed. Cursed! If you watch the video, at some point in the next seven days, the Buffalo Hat QAnon Shaman will supernaturally crawl out of your TV and murder you! Save yourselves! Watch CNN! It's your only hope!"

Fox News host Tucker Carlson has come under heavy criticism from government officials on both sides of the political aisle and members of the mainstream news media for airing previously unseen video from the day of the riots, with some declaring Carlson's decision a threat to democracy itself. With Carlson's show drawing huge ratings, Schumer took a more drastic approach. "You'll literally die if you watch the video," Schumer said. "You'll die and you'll also kill democracy and freedom. That's not in any way an exaggeration."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: History; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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At publishing time, after hearing about Carlson's intention to continue airing new footage, Schumer was reportedly meeting with Mitch McConnell and other prominent political leaders to plan the next train derailment or viral pandemic release to draw attention from the damning video.
1 posted on 03/09/2023 12:57:36 AM PST by McGruff
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To: more
Somebody thought it was funny.


2 posted on 03/09/2023 1:02:02 AM PST by McGruff (Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up - Barack Obama)
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To: McGruff

Damn! If I hadn’t seen the BB byline, I would have thought that he really said it.


3 posted on 03/09/2023 1:07:30 AM PST by Eleutheria5 (Every Goliath has his David. )
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To: McGruff
Fred
4 posted on 03/09/2023 1:58:45 AM PST by MikelTackNailer (Fortunately despite aging I've been spared the ravages of maturity.)
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To: McGruff
Why did idiot McCarthy ONLY release it to Fox News?

He should have known what that would cause.

Release the tapes to the public

5 posted on 03/09/2023 2:08:59 AM PST by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing Obamacare is worse than Obamacare)
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To: McGruff
Why did idiot McCarthy ONLY release it to Fox News?

He should have known what that would cause.

Release the tapes to the public

6 posted on 03/09/2023 2:09:00 AM PST by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing Obamacare is worse than Obamacare)
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To: McGruff
Snopes has already debunked this:

FALSE: Even the Babylon Bee knows that the highly esteemed Senator Schmuck .. ummm .. Senator Schumer meant to say "Viking Headress" and not "Buffalo Hat"

7 posted on 03/09/2023 2:51:34 AM PST by Mr_Moonlight (Ich bin ein Irredeemable Deplorable)
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To: McGruff

I’m the Slime-Frank Zappa

I am gross and perverted
I’m obsessed ‘n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I’m the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you can’t look away
I make you think I’m delicious
With the stuff that I say
I’m the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I’m the slime oozin’ out
From your TV set

You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don’t need you
Don’t go for help... no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

That’s right, folks...
Don’t touch that dial

Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin’ along on your livin’ room floor


8 posted on 03/09/2023 2:58:55 AM PST by Fresh Wind (Trump: "I am Batman!")
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To: McGruff

When my forehead grimaces...I check...yup...the BEE!!


9 posted on 03/09/2023 3:05:25 AM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: McGruff

They really are nervous. And a bunch are going to visit the imprisoned. That’s anarchy...when you imprison people just because....


10 posted on 03/09/2023 3:08:17 AM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: Sacajaweau

Ok its all well and good to admonish and call attention to what J6 did and the current gas lighting going on with their media. But I believe that the people need to wake up, get angry, and take a stand and then act, especially against politicians who like Mitch McConnell, are causing even more harm to the nation while enriching their own corrupt pockets.

I called my state delegation yesterday and told each of them that if they ever supported McConnell for any leadership position again, they would lose my support, my donations, and my vote even if running against the most extreme liberal in the next election. I reiterated that we had sadly reached a point where only a handful of individuals in DC served the interests of the people or the nation and the rest were uni party.

I just wished more people were willing and angry enough to finally do more than just post on Social Media. We can talk about our country going to hell in a hand basket, but this time I believe that cliche is on target.


11 posted on 03/09/2023 3:24:28 AM PST by navymom1
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To: McGruff

Schumer could use some of that mushroom therapy but he would probably have a bad trip every time.


12 posted on 03/09/2023 3:24:32 AM PST by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: McGruff

And make sure you are wearing a COVID mask when you sit home alone watching video excerpts in case somebody in the video coughs. Maybe 2 masks.


13 posted on 03/09/2023 3:56:14 AM PST by Bernard (“the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God." JFK 1-20-61)
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To: McGruff

Schumer is quickly becoming one of the worst all-time political persons in our nation’s history. The worst.


14 posted on 03/09/2023 4:10:13 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: navymom1

Mitch McConnell and his ilk and all that has gone on in the last 70 years are just absolute proof the 17th Amendment needs to be repealed.

Way too much money and influence with the lobbyists and political parties. They choose a bunch of weasels like McConnell, we vote the least f@cked candidates into office and we end up where we are today. The American taxpayers lose, lobbyists, aka K street and their clients win, politicians and the parties win.. side benefit is a messed up Federal Judiciary..

Our Founding Father’s were not stupid!!


15 posted on 03/09/2023 4:19:24 AM PST by Article10 (Roger That)
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To: McGruff
LOL! I know it's from The Bee but I can imagine Schumer saying it too.
16 posted on 03/09/2023 4:48:07 AM PST by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized of man.)
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To: Fresh Wind

I miss Frank.

L


17 posted on 03/09/2023 4:53:46 AM PST by Lurker (Peaceful coexistence with the Left is not possible. Stop pretending that it is.)
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To: McGruff

The Bee is a national treasure.


18 posted on 03/09/2023 4:56:09 AM PST by Lazamataz (The firearms I own today, are the firearms I will die with. How I die will be up to them.)
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To: Article10

Repeal the 17th, then the 16th. After that we take a real hard look at the 19th.

L


19 posted on 03/09/2023 5:01:14 AM PST by Lurker (Peaceful coexistence with the Left is not possible. Stop pretending that it is.)
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To: Mr. K

“Why did idiot McCarthy ONLY release it to Fox News?”

Because he knew that his BFF Paul Ryan, and Trump-hating Murdochs, would quash it. (We haven’t seen any footage since Monday, have we?)

He could have published online for all to see — but he didn’t.


20 posted on 03/09/2023 5:16:18 AM PST by MayflowerMadam (Stupid is supposed to hurt.)
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