Posted on 03/04/2023 8:30:15 AM PST by Cronos
I have shared an office and a train home five days a week for 20 years with a chap I’ll call T. He calls me his “work wife”.
He does have a real wife and family. I’m many years divorced. Our relationship is very sibling-ish, and we’ve become, over the years, very close – we share things we don’t share with our “real” friends and family and just by virtue of the time spent together, we have shared a lot of our lives. We have never socialised outside work, aside from at work functions, and have never been to each other’s homes.
The thing is, we’re both retiring this year. And the chances are we will not see each other again, since that’s not the relationship we have. And I know I will miss him.
I’ll miss the everyday closeness, the banter, the laughs, the rants. I imagine he feels the same at some level (we don’t talk about things like that). How does one navigate ending relationships like this? Because I know it’ll end – it’s not that we don’t have all kinds of things in common, but without the framework of work, would we have anything real?
It’s the only drawback to retirement for me. I have other (female) work friends who I know I will see because we do socialise outside of work anyway, but I shall miss T. Any suggestions for finding a way to maintain a relationship, or should I just accept that this is one of the things that retirement does, and let it go?
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Work gives us an excuse to cultivate very close friendships that, outside the “office” may require more explanation or may just not be possible. It’s a safe way, to get very close to someone
(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...
“What does one do with work relations after one retired?”
Depends on if you liked ‘em or not.......and if they liked you
not true!!!
at another restaurant in our chain, the manager died of a heart attack during sex with his A/GM. ( in the kitchen before opening.)
We all wondered what his wife looked like if Theresa was “the other woman”.
Cause she did not look good, hot, none of the above.
My wife got aggravated with me about that...told me I was discriminating against the young woman in my group.
I finally gave in to my wife's complaints. Big mistake.
"I’ll miss the everyday closeness, the banter, the laughs, the rants. I imagine he feels the same at some level (we don’t talk about things like that)."
That statement alone is brimming with sexual tension.
>>What does one do with work relations after one retired?<<
Keep in touch with some, the rest fade away.
I’ve actually gotten close to my high school classmates in the last couple of years. Even some I didn’t know very well when I went to high school. But it’s one of the few people where there is still some common bond, especially since my high school was relatively small.
“IF you have 3 people who don’t look at your watch during your funeral, you did pretty good. If you have 3 people there, you did pretty good.”
LOL. That’s a good summation. I’ll have lots of people at my funeral because my wife knows how to cultivate a huge circle of friends. She retired last summer and had begun living at our Idaho place full-time when COVID hit. She has a very large group of friends and they will all come to my funeral.
“He does have a real wife and family. I’m many years divorced.”
I suspect most wives would be none to happy about a continued relationship....I know mine wouldn’t like it......if both were married it would be a far more acceptable dynamic.
I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from school or any former job.
In this case it sounds like the soon to be retiree wants to be more than a work wife and the work husband could be game for it
Many times folks will say “I don’t miss the job, but I miss the friends and some of the co-workers”. Keep in touch with a lunch every month or two, even a phone call once in a while. Friends are very important, especially when you’re retired.
It is possible for a guy to be "just friends" with a woman that he is close to. But only if he finds her very unattractive otherwise.
It is dangerous for a guy to be "friends" with a woman he finds attractive, and he should avoid opportunities for intimacy.
Talk to your husband. He'll steer you right...maybe a barbecue...
Every time I see bowling mentioned I am reminded of how unique and wonderful an activity it is for socializing, with a great balance of food, drink, close social proximity, a comfortable esthetically pleasing indoors, mild physical activity, mild and friendly competition, the kids can be involved, or the guys from work, or the guys and the wives, and the whole environment is totally different from anything outside of the bowling alley, and it is all safe.
I’m not a bowler but I think the people who do are being smart.
I agree with MinorityRepublican: “troubled” girls are trouble for a man who tries to help.
I’m n a one on one situation you’re are correct in situations where multiple people are involved it’s still possible but not as likely likely
Being on the road traveling consistently with a member of the opposite sex will ultimately lead to problems in the vast majority of situations
Dear love sick; . . . You're both weird . . . get over it.
Over my life, I’ve worked for a good number of companies. I’ve never spent less than 10 years at any of them. I have never kept in touch with any former co-workers and do not expect to do so when I retire from my current position of 20+ years. Just not my thing.
Look at who Arnold Schwarzenegger picked for an "other woman". Or who Prince Charles picked over Diana.
A woman does not need to be that hot, if she is willing to put in an effort to make a man feel good.
What is this the Dear Abby forum?
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